The Student approached the Master. "Master, is there such a thing as a just war?" "Yes", the master said, "there is just war." "Is there such a thing as a righteous war?" "No. There is no righteous war."
"Okay, you know those dumbass flags people put on their cars around hockey playoff time? The ones that hook right on the front door and flutter in the wind and show that you support the Maple Leafs/Sens/Whatever by displaying the team logo for the world to see? I want flags with the skull and crossbones on them, so I can yell "prepare to be boarded!" and "avast, ye scallywags!" at passing cars." --smuu
From the ever quotable apocalypsos's report on her day at the zoo:
1. Cheetahs don't mind if biologists take pictures of them during the romantic afterglow. In fact, at least two of them turn to the camera and smile. 2. Zookeepers will not give you cute baby animals out of the small mammal house no matter how many firstborn children you offer them. 3. I do not speak Parseltongue, and spending fifteen straight minutes staring at snakes in the reptile house will not change that. 4. There is no five-second rule in the monkey world.
I've also taken to using Farsi idioms in english, to the point where people don't even understand what I'm saying. Person: I think you should bla bla bla me: I think that idea is good for my butt! Person: *confusion*