April 14th, 2004

flowers that last forever

(no subject)

yellowfrog4: law is so much fun
saput1bg: it is
saput1bg: sometimes
yellowfrog4: there are these rules, and if people don't follow them, you can penalize them-
yellowfrog4: and if you follow the laws and other people don't you can win stuff!!!

~from the ever amusing artificialchaos and his friend Darci
  • Current Music
    Eric Clapton - Change The World

(no subject)

torchthisnow ranting about the suckiness of "One Tree Hill":

And Chad Michael Murray is a kiwi fruit. By that, I do not mean a person from New Zealand who is gay, I mean he is the living embodiment of an actual fuzzy kiwi, and if you cut him open, he would be green with black seeds.

Granted, this may only be funny, because I am sleep-deprived and awake in an ungodly hour of the night.
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    amused amused

(no subject)

People are discussing suicidal art which leaps off walls:

vimeslady: One day I came home from work to find the picture had torn a hunk out of the wall and was lying on the bed. I've had a healthy fear of being squashed by falling artwork in my sleep ever since.
darketherdream: ...so the painting was stronger than the wall? (yee! art victorious!)

I thought it was amusing. Go art!
agent may is unimpressed

Rice cooker envy

My new housemate brought a rice cooker with her when she moved in, and it's now sitting between my onion basket and my own cooker. But it's not just any rice cooker, oh no. It's the kind of super-duper mega deluxe rice cooker that can bathe the children, feed the cats, and cook perfect fluffy rice every single time.

And for the record, she's from Malaysia, so she's allowed to like rice, you know?
  • Current Music
    about the response to my last submission
snacky purple
  • snacky

Headlines out of Fandom_Wank!

wankprophet notes a startling new discovery:

Scientist Discover Wank Is Matter, Warn of Dangers

EREWHON, SHANGRI-LA -- Scientists at the Acadamie de Fandom Wank announced yesterday that they have discovered that wank, long thought to be simply a variant of the so-called "stupidity singularity," is actually matter. This announcement came on the heels of the University of Aucklan's discovery that certain Lord of the Rings fans existed in what was termed a "sploogetastic sixth dimension" in which time and space are not simply curved, but actually warped by the overabundance of the element tin, and of Duke University's Parapsychology lab's discovery that certain HP fangirls can actually read the mind of J.K. Rowling, thus demonstrating conclusively that she was entirely mistaken about what she meant by what she wrote.

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    amused amused
advice serious wise

Out of the mouths of babes:

"So anyway, I was sitting there watching Mr President make his little speech when he said assided three times. I threw a book at the television. My daughter (age 6) came in and said, "Is he lying again?""

--aint2nuts on her [and her child's] reaction to the Presidential press conference last night.

EDIT: Spelling biff corrected by request of the original author ^.^
write, Wonderfalls

(no subject)

sweetvalleyslut has fun in Latin class.

We got our LatinProf on a truly fantastic tangent today, when I asked him how Hannibal got the elephants over the Mediterranean in the first place. His response was to tell us all how truly enlightened Roman society was, and to ask us what we all would miss if we lived there. The girl who sits across from me wanted to know if she would still be able to ride horses: "Sure! Except...well, you're a woman, so no." Which he basically said for anything, leading us to comment that life would be incredibly boring for a Roman woman. Me: "We could always have lots of affairs, like Clodia!" Him: "That really would get you executed." Me: "But at least we wouldn't be bored!" Then he told us Wheelock's life story, just for the heck of it. I love Latin.
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    amused amused

(no subject)

As seen in truecrystal's journal:

"I did my civic duty and left the tv on a network channel during the presidential speech. If anybody ever needed proof that our president was a stoner, last night should do it. I had the speech on as background noise last night while I was working, and I swear he sounded about as coherent as a 50-year-old Jeff Spicoli. Then I turned around and looked at him, and damn. Nothing inspires confidence like mussed hair and a half-assed cheap suit. Even if I didn't disagree with every single thing that comes out of his mouth, I could never take him seriously as a leader because there is nothing even slightly commanding about him. He looks like a timid weasel. Make that a timid weasel recovering from a pot habit. You'd think that his handlers would work on making him at least look presidential. He should at least be able to show some confidence in his cluelessness. Poor fella. I'd feel sorry for him if he wasn't such an asslick."
  • Current Music
    The Vines - She's Got Something
We 3 Kens

Sorry, I'm busy my next few lives too

In which Our Heroine ivyblossom quells an unexpected YMer:

steve_s30_2004: Hi Ivy, how are you?
ivyblossoms: I'm okay, you?
steve_s30_2004: I'm great thanks.
steve_s30_2004: So, what brings you to Yahoo Messenger?
ivyblossoms: well, generally I use it to talk to friends.
steve_s30_2004: I'm looking for some fun...are you interested?
ivyblossoms: in fun?
ivyblossoms: isn't everyone interested in fun?
ivyblossoms: what sort of fun interests you?
steve_s30_2004: well, guy---girl type of fun.
steve_s30_2004: how about you?
ivyblossoms: oh. Sorry. I'm only interested in guy-guy fun, really.
ivyblossoms: so unless you're willing to take it from behind, we're out of luck.
steve_s30_2004: well, maybe in the next life.
ivyblossoms: ta ta!
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    amused amused
Key signature
  • gmajor

But what flavour?

"...did anyone else get the distinct feeling, when watching Little Bush last night ... that he would say the same things regardless of what the journalists asked him, what was happening in Iraq, or what had happened before 9/11? I think he's, like, the Patriotic Platitude Pez Dispenser."

(no subject)

From asimaiyat:

"Either ask three questions for me to answer, or post anonymously with three clues about who you are and let me try to guess.

IP logging is off. The phone lines are cut. The security system has been disabled, and I chloroformed the guard dogs. The call is coming from inside the house. "
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    amused amused
Eddie "Jeff" Izzard

(no subject)

  A post in poctsues about nuns living in Tortuga:

"Although it makes for some fun mental pictures. Either you've got a proper convent being continually appalled by pretty much everything happening outside their walls (and said walls would have to be large, spiked, and well-patrolled to prevent the everything from happening inside as well), or else you've got the Order of St. Jezebel The Painted And Licentious." genarti

I love potcsues. <3


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    giddy giddy
Beast facepalm

(no subject)

Taken from sarahtales.

Then of course, there was the Arrival Of James on Easter Sunday. All you need to know about James is that I unwisely and in a fit of madness agreed to go out with him on Wednesday.
JAMES: I brought you an Easter egg, Maya.
MAYA: Oh... thank you. *begins to flail around with egg in distress.* Look - when I said I would go out with you...
MAYA: I have like, these episodes.
JAMES: Episodes?!
MAYA: I can't be held responsible for my actions.
JAMES: You said you'd go out with me because you were insane at the time?!
MAYA: Um. Yeah! Oh, hey, and I can't accept this Easter egg.
MAYA: Oh my God, so I have!

(no subject)

On Hidalgo:

Me: "Didn't Viggo end up buying the horse?"
Nicole: "Yes."
Me: "Didn't he buy the horse he had in LOTR as well?"
Nicole: "Yeah. You should try and get a horse costume - maybe he would buy you as well then."

- franzi1981
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    Division St -- Thursday (in my head)
geeky me

On paying attention while driving

Anyway, I'm driving behind this car on St. Charles and it's going slow and swerving. I can't overtake it because there's only one lane.
Well, it tops at a red light and I see why it is going slow and swerving: There re two idiot kids making out in it. UGH.
Hi, can't you keep in it your pants while you're DRIVING? COME ON. I hope they get into an accident and die.
That'll teach those horny little bastards.

frenchmartyr in a locked post. Quoted with permission
  • Current Music
    No Doubt - Don't Speak
Ronicus Explodicus
  • mo0

Phrases from home

My first post, yay! phicksur (in a locked post, quoted with permission) had some interesting chats with his son. (Names changed by request)

Marvin: "Hey! There's a mouse in that vase?"
Phicksur: "Yes. Daddy caught it in the kitchen and I don't know what I should do with it."
Marvin: "We should keep it."
Phicksur: "Why?"
Marvin: "Because I love him. He's my best buddy!"
Phicksur: "You just met him. He's just a mouse."
Marvin: "Can I name him?"
Phicksur: "I would prefer you not."
Marvin: "I'll name him..... HotRod!"
Phicksur: "Ok, looks like he's family now."

Marvin: "Can I play with these?" (takes some magnets off the fridge)
Phicksur: "Sure, just keep them next to the refrigerator."
Marvin: "Why?"
Phicksur: "Because if you take them too far from the fridge they might explode."
**Marvin looks at magnets, sits down in front of fridge, wondering 'how far is too far'?**
Marvin: "Daddy."
Phicksur: "Yes, Marvin?"
Marvin: "I don't want to play with these any more."
Phicksur: "Ok, just put them back on the fridge."
Marvin: (Puts magnets back on the refrigerator and goes back to playing with his toys.)
(I have WAY too many computer components around the house for him to be playing with magnets.)

(no subject)

zimraphel here, regarding Troy and the manly manly hairclips all the actors are wearing.

You can just hear all those macho guys' inner squees that they have a valid reason to wear hairclips in this film. It's so obvious in that fourth pic.

Hector: 'How dare you enter this ship having copied my look?!'
Paris: 'So long you have attempted to intimidate us but now I stand up for the people! Everybody has the right to wear hairclips! You do not carry a monopoly on them and now you must step down!'
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    amused amused