April 13th, 2004

Faded

Cute post by canyonwren

*My favorite morning coffee shop has a flower pot filled with coffee beans to hold their pens, and each pen has a bright cloth tulip fastened to it with green tape.

This morning, some joker put a vase of real tulips directly beside it. And, in my sleep-deprived state, I did indeed try to endorse my debit slip with a tulip.
guinevere - disgruntled housewife

(no subject)

From mightymisha:

Man...I thought living next to my neighbor was bad last night when she was having sex while watching Shrek with the volume turned way up at 2:30 in the morning.

But now she's listening to Sheryl Crow. Over laptop speakers. I'm glad I don't have a real gun or I might be tempted.
digitized worldview

(no subject)

"Now home again, I in my task would fail
If I told not the moral of my tale:
In days of yore, folk flock'd to places holy,
But real fun lies in drink and guacamole.
And last, this thought that I hath lately thunk:
I writeth poetry best when I am drunk...." - redscharlasch on Easter Holidays

"FATHER: Argh, am povertystricken.
MOTHER: Not to worry, the kiddies and I will go to America to join a commune that has fairs!
MOTHER: Who could have predicted that wouldn't work out? Well, now I'm going to write a book mocking those dang Americans.
ENGLISH PEOPLE: Hee! She says Americans are rude! It's funny because we're so superior! *book becomes instant bestseller*
MOTHER: I will also write a book about a vicar who hypnotises villages with his uber sex appeal.
FATHER: Am I not satisfying you in some way, darling?
ENGLISH PEOPLE: Fanny, baby, why couldn't you write a book about how we're superior to the bog Irish?
WM THACKERAY (actual quote): Oh, if women would only make puddings and mend stockings!
YOUNG ANTHONY: Muuum, the other chaps are already beating me up at Harrow for being big and clumsy! *seethes* I will have vengeance when I am a famous postal clerk! VENGEANCE." - sarahtales on Anthony Trollope
Watch Your Step

Shake it, Sh-shake it!

My old journal layout was pirate-themed, and the comment link was "Steal My Booty". A stranger left this comment one day:

nirey: your booty has been stolen and is placed on a mantel :P
Me: Then if there's an earthquate, it'll shake my booty.
nirey: will you shake it like a polaroid picture?
Me: Only if I want something to 'develop'!

sorry for the self-quoting faux pas; I couldn't help myself!
agent may is unimpressed

My friends rock

Taken from the comments on this entry:

speedy_paul: [Most] people would consider a man receiving anal sex to be extreme, while not many people would be too surprised by a woman receiving anal sex.

karisu_sama: It hadn't really occurred to me, but now that you mention it.... and that's utterly stupid for those "most people" to think so.

Besides, butts have no gender :p :p XD
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Stay tuned...

Has the cancellation of Wonderfalls knocked the monkey off television addict oberongeiger's back?

"No, I haven't gotten over it. The whole Wonderfalls thing? Not going to get over it. You may think it would gradually leave my thoughts, but you'd be wrong. Even I am surprised at exactly how incredibly bitter I am over this. I'm drowning in Bitter Soup. My homeland is Bitterria. If I were a president, I'd be Martin Van Bitter."