April 5th, 2004

badge

I'd been avoiding quoting myself, but then I remembered this...

“when pouring grease down the sink, run extremely hot water for a few minutes, so that the congealing grease will cause a clog in the sewer system, not in your pipes. This also feeds the sewer rats, so that they’ll have shiny coats...”

From a story about my breakfast.
For some reason all the comments were about exotic chickens.
  • Current Music
    The Right Girl For Me<Frank Sinatra
springtime the pony

(no subject)

cat_o_ninetails meets THEM!:

INCH LONG ANT APPEARING FROM NOWHERE. ICK ICK ICK AND IS IT GOING TO JUMP ON ME. NO. BUT ICK.
IT LOOKS LIKE IT WANTS TO EAT ME. AM TEMPTED TO MAKE THE DOG EAT IT, BUT DOG WOULD RUN AWAY. STUPID DOG, EATING INSULATION BUT NOT MONSTER ANTS.
IT IS BLACK AND EVIL AND IT WOULD BE A COOL MINION IF IT DIDN'T MAKE ME WANT TO SQUISH IT AS SOON AS I SEE IT.

Is not in good smiting position. Shall continue to observe until such time as I receive a large boot and it gets off the wall.
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    amused amused
I&#39;ll Need Booze For This One

Yay Passover!

I really like the part where we let the Prophet Elijah in to have a drink. It comes right at the point in the proceedings when you really need to stand at an open door and let the breeze blow on you -- sort of gives you a second wind for dessert. ;) Plus, you know, 'Lij is sort of like a Santa Claus for adults -- he visits every Jewish house in the world in one night, but all he does is steal alcohol.

Or, as my sister put it: "The Jews are just like the Irish! Put a drink down for a minute, and when you turn back it's gone!"

-- hisgreyeyes
random hornblower art...

(no subject)

I've been reading Anne of Green Gables this weekend. I always thought it was a fairly standard Children's Classic[TM]. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that L.M. Montgomery was one of the early-20th-Century reformist authors, like Upton Sinclair. As Mr. Sinclair's The Jungle depicted the horrors of the contemporary meatpacking industry, so too is Ms. Montgomery's work a plea for the improved distribution of Ritalin to the isolated, agrarian areas of Canada. You go, Lucy

- annlarimer
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    amused amused
Agrippa
  • shezan

From the frontline

Tampons are the new trick to have in your medic’s bag. They’re the size of a bullet hole, they’re sanitary, and they’ve got a string. Maybe there’s a missed marketing opportunity there: “TAMPAX! Your friend in war and in peace! For men and women, and….” I just don’t want to take that any further, thanks.
ginmar, writing from Iraq.

Spam

[From a locked post by the_agent; reposted with permission.]
In my email box today:
OVERFLOWING BUKKAKE

I love it. I'll buy thirty of them. Shipped right here. Fed Ex. Overnight. C.O.D. I'll even give the driver some, and a few for his wife.

...whaddya mean you can't ship Bukkake? I'll go and pick it up, then. Yeah, give me a crate full. Nice Hannukah bush by the way.

I wonder...
*looks up dictionary definition of bukkake*

OH MY GOD
  • Current Music
    Metric - Combat Baby
mucha mosaic

(no subject)

But let me tell you, that beauty is nothing -- the barest carbon copy -- compared to the sound of a fax machine that finds itself dialing a wrong number. At that first moment of misrecognition, the squeals take on a truly anguished character, the very soul of loneliness calling into the unanswering void. But then, moments later, a betrayed roaring: the beast's claws have come out. Angrier and angrier in its modulation, one can hear its talons tearing and digging in, as they seek purchase and release.

icecreamemperor in an entry that left me screaming laughter: his explanation of why the evil fax machines keep calling us.
I just keep snickering.
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    amused amused
agent may is unimpressed

After the boobage

Can't believe I'm doing this, but have a link [to the video clip]. I swear, this information is just falling into my lap. I'm not specifically looking for it. You'd think Tony Blair had just been caught giving fellatio to George Bush, the way this is clogging up forums.
--acetal, in comments to my "I just saw Janet's boob" entry right after it happened.

Edit: Edited for clarity.