April 1st, 2004

hammer time

Metaquoting myself...

because I'm cool like that, and to show off the icon that leiabelle made for me.

"Sometimes people can surprise you."
"Oh, I know. Every time I think 'well, nobody could possibly be that stupid', there he goes, surprising me again."

"You got the short end of the stick."
"The shortest end of the shortest stick off of the shortest tree in the forest. The short forest."

...maybe there will be a 'say something witty' section on the MCAT.
Plead the FIF!

(no subject)

Argument 3: I'm very religious, and some offset of the Jesus snuff cult I am a member of tells me that lesbians are evil and wrong.

Religion hates fun. It hates fun like I hate Eurotrash. Mindlessly, passionately, and unquestionably. Religion was invented thousands of years ago by unloved, middle-aged men who had lost all of their family to rampaging tribes of drunken, lecherous, wild and crazy homosexual Vikings. They harbored a grudge about that, and out of revenge wrote some insane books about ghosts with magical powers that cannot be killed and will burn you if you don't do exactly as they tell you. Also, they probably got picked last for dodgeball when they were kids. Or whatever ancient equivalent dodgeball has, I'm personally betting it involves lions and bronze.

- gomijin believes everyone loves lesbians.
Agrippa
  • shezan

Jaws optional

From theferrett's LJ:

"Jaws is a film about stupid people. Oh dear, where's the safest place to be when a shark's in the water? The boat? No, dumbass, the safest place to be when a shark is about is down at the pub, having a beer and watching football on TV. Unless the shark takes a cab, shows up at the pub and orders a Miller, you'll be fine."

She's gonna hate me for pimping this again...

miscellanny's "Whom do you crush on?" Meme spiralled wildly out of control, and when she hit a thousand comments on it she posted a best of list.

A small selection:

Anonymous: "I have a crush on reallyreally. Really."

arisato: "This is my Ego, surpassing the size of Godzilla and levelling Tokyo with its MASSIVE LASER BEAM."

gmth: "I love my whole f-list, but these are the people I'd like to have with me if I ever get stuck on a deserted island. ('Cause I could, you know, lash them together to make a raft.) :-)"
Me

(no subject)

so, i went to denny's tonight after two hours of overtime (hey, it's next door). i sat in the lounge with my book and ordered a beer. the couple at the table next to mine start talking to me. immediately i can tell that they are both, shall we say, slow.

six pints (!!) later, i still have more brain power than the both of them together. and then it hits me...

these people vote!!

so, who's up for moving to liechtenstein?

-flagmantho
Message

Bits and pieces

Yesterday, while out and about at an unholy early hour, I muttered something under my breath about the mindless coffee drones lined up outside and around the Star Bucks; coffee minions of an ever expanding empire. What I said wasn't very nice and probably highly derogatory -- I just can't recall -- but the words coffee drone and java nazi stayed with me as longer than perhaps they should have.
-- all realityfox wanted was a Pepsi...

We own too many books. Fourteen boxes. That's like a small household. Actually, it's more like a small house built out of books.
-- sevenall (hear, hear!)

I'm kind of in a "death to all infidels" mood today and everyone looks like an infidel.
-- mice

My friends and I did go into a Tiffany's, though, and ogled gems. I barely had to state my preference in cuts - I'm a princess cut all the way and they instinctively knew that. If there were a queen cut, I'd be likely to choose that.
-- mice
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Wow Neat

Two longer quotes

Dear Viggo Mortensen,

You're hot, and Connie Nielsen is hot, and you're both Danish (well, your dad is, and that's what counts). You should totally get together and let me videotape it.

Love,
Eil

Dear LiveJournal,

Display the Viggo icons I just uploaded or I eat your face! [snarls]

No love,
Eil

-- eiluned



Bush, you miserable, lying, scheming, brain-dead, corrupt, weasely, degenerate, depraved, flagitious, rotten, villainous, nefarious, perverse, crooked, devious, oblique, baneful, detrimental, noxious little miscreant! YOU caused this illegal war that we're now stuck in, FIX IT! ...or just stand there cracking lame jokes about not finding "WMDs" under your fucking couch while trying to remember not to drool when you speak; you know, the usual.

Just leave the goddamned Middle East alone; they'll eventually kill themselves off and save US taxpayers the money required to send troops over to do essentially the same thing. Trying to help out there is like chucking small stones at a hornet nest. Now, large flaming torches that reduce said hornet nest to nothing but ash and dead bees or large cans of poison that do essentially the same, that's a different matter. Oh, but that might be considered 'wrong'...but since when would you care? It's not like you've paid attention to any of the so-called rules so far.

-- I love tviokh's rants

Insane? Perhaps!

From parapaints

"You ever notice how vegans seem to be sad and angry all the time? It's because they don't eat cheese and their stomach weeps."

"Perhaps if Saddam and George had sat down together over a piping hot plate of mozarella sticks, they could have resolved each other's differences without war..."

And that about sums up their whole journal O_o
  • Current Mood
    hungry starving
Dustpan

Wonder What It Sounds Like...

My friend wolfgangmozart, about this putz that she might have dated (were he not a putz):

What amuses me about the whole situation is the whole aura that people who know us have now. Sure, when it was great, they were all, "Oh, wow, I can tell he likes you and you will be happy forever and ever amen." Now suddenly it's become, "I knew there was something shifty about him, I TOLD YOU SO." This is probably why I don't talk to people very much. The "I told you so" symphonic band will be quickly drowned out by the "STFU" choir, though, so I'm not worried.

EDIT: Fixed the stupid username tag.
  • Current Music
    "Figured You Out", Nickelback
face

(no subject)

Third, Snape is a spy. He has an image to present to the world: that of a sour, unpleasant Death Eater. And so, I believe he makes a conscious choice: to bathe in the evening, as all dishonest people do. He sacrifices his hygiene, stewing in his own bodily oils all night, for the sake of the Cause.

In his case, grease = heroism!
-contrariwise

The whole post is great, really.
  • Current Music
    ani-superhero
me - with gun
  • shinga

(no subject)

From holly_toadstool commenting on the april fool pottersue(which was great)

Dear Harry Potter,

Today is your sixteenth birthday, and you will be regaining your true shape. The truth is that you are not really Harry Potter. You are Mary-Gender-Bender-Sue. No, there are no hidden cameras in your room, nor snickering friends hiding in your closet. This is not a prank, you have truly transformed in the most annoying creature known to this world. (Next to Spongue Bob Squarepants)

Before you will jump out the window, while screaming "life's unfair", I advice you to reply to this letter first with a dramatic good bye note so we can frame it and hang it in the quidditch trophy case. Do us a favour.

Love, Albus Dumbledore


...

Well, I thought it was funny :)
  • Current Mood
    giggly giggly
springtime the pony

(no subject)

eilonwy:

Saw on a sign advertising recent movie releases: "Texas Chainsaw Mass"
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Is anyone else picturing a priest running around with a chainsaw screaming, "Take and eat! TAKE AND EAT!"
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No? It's just me? Damn.