March 25th, 2004

upgrade

(no subject)

a while back somebody quoted this hillarious post that was this lady going off on these pictures of dogs, and it was amazing.

i was thinking about that today, and i can't find it on google or anything.

any help?
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mixing business and pleasure

sounds just like something he'd actually say...

From a locked post w/ permission
miss_rina on Something's Gotta Give:
But Jack Nicholson just grosses me out. And he seems to be saying, "I made good movies before. I worked on my characters then. Now I can just ooze charm, so I don't really need to act. Go me. I am so old and awesome. This movie is just a tribute to my oldness and awesome-ness. Acting is for losers."
rik

(no subject)

annlarimer: Recently spotted at Hobby Lobby: To go along with the rest of your Big-Ass Nail jewelry collection, a Big-Ass Nail pin that comes packaged on an "I was crucified with Him" card.
Um, no. No, you weren't. That was sort of the point.

jeff_morris: It didn't add "and all I got was this lousy pin"?

lavendertook: Hey, at least it didn't say, "I was crucified with Stupid" with a little arrow pointing up. Give them some credit.
Corpse Bride

(no subject)

From a locked post by watericgun who is a court appointed lawyer:

Nastyyy clientses. Tricksy clientses. We Hatses the tricksy clientses. Filthy lying clientses. We putses them on deferred adjudication, GOLLUM. Not even probation, GOLLUM. They screw it up. GOLLUM. Then nasty tricksy clientses go to jail ::dance::

At one point, the rant followed the movie more closely:
Gollum: "What is it saying, Legal Smeagol, my love? Is legal Smeagol losing her nerve? [in front of Judge C's bench]
Legal Smeagol: No! Not! Never! Legal Smeagol hates nasty clientses! Legal Smeagol wants to see them...plead!


Hehe... I'd let her be my lawyer any day!
pirate!

Said by studphish

Movie, the thing about setting zombies on fire is that you just end up with flaming zombies. I know you think that fire stops a zombie but that's becase you're suffering from a condition known as "badness."
gv gal

Two from Celli...

From celli:

"The guy at the drugstore was very brave today. For serious. How many men would, when confronted with a woman in a hurry buying one item (a container of, quote, feminine products, unquote), would say 'You have a great day now!' He's got guts.

Not balls, because, you know, I ripped them off and stuck them up his nose. But guts."


And, on admitting, in public, that she eats Chef Boyardee out of the can:
I expected havocthecat, at the least, to be sending me Scary Looks. Heck, as-yet-unborn ChildofHavoc was probably saying, "Mom, can you talk to Aunt Celli? Please? I eat better than that, and I get my nutrition through my belly button."
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Man/droid Love

First post....

...but too good not to share...

From khukuri:

Finding out that you and your mother are using the same sort of contraceptive pill is weird.

Not as weird, however, as when she tries to borrow some off of you.

"Please?"
"No."
"You don't want a baby brother or sister, do you?"
"Ow, my ears! You better be talking about the second coming of the baby Jesus."
"Yes, yes I am. And I know you dislike religion, so hand them over unless you want the messiah crawling around and vomiting on your carpet."

This is some sort of child abuse, surely.
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