March 21st, 2004

Maria - Punk

I'm hurt that she takes joy in killing one of my subjects, but the post is funny, so I forgive her.

It is dead, but I don't feel as bad about that as I should, because they have eight legs and who the fuck can trust anything with that many legs? What do they even need all those legs for? Most clever things get by on, say, four. Snakes don't have any legs. (Cats, which have four, have an expression when looking at humans that says "Why don't you fall over? Why are you picking things up with your front legs? Maybe if I keep watching you'll fall over. That would amuse me.") --nostalgia_lj in this fabulous post about animals.

As to the Really Clever Animals, you have to wonder if dolphins go round sonaring "omg! I swam with humans! It was, like, really spiritual! They seem almost to understand you!" --same user, same post

*wipes a tear from her eye*

From over at bad_rpers_suck

From: youlanda

(You see Lhasa.)
> Altruistic; crux -- secrecy amidst queer mortality. Sole serene oculi of beryl hue. Cowl o'er bodice, satiny attire drapery to musculature 'n khaki derma. Kriss scalpel's decor to translucent silk. Ruby tendrils rapt abaft crania. Apt vitality 'n deft clout forge weaponry, thusly an abysmal stamina. Goliath stature, poise posture, and sopistication - truely a specimen. Intellect and brawn; amongst intamacies. An ethereal spectre - mystical, celestial...

Then... tanamiya kindly provided us with a broken-down explaination of the jumbled rp intro:

Altruistic; crux -- secrecy amidst queer mortality.
Okay. So he/she/it is gay, and still in the closet.

Sole serene oculi of beryl hue.
Alright... Its eyes were poked out, so it's using a quiet fish eye instead.

Cowl o'er bodice, satiny attire drapery to musculature 'n khaki derma.
It was obviously made by Levi Strauss Co. but wants to hide that with a satiny cowl. I can deal with that.

Kriss scalpel's decor to translucent silk.
So, this character stole scalpels from Dr. Kriss and made them decorations on the cowl. Alright.

Ruby tendrils rapt abaft crania.
Red tentacles rape thesauruses.

Apt vitality 'n deft clout forge weaponry, thusly an abysmal stamina.
Her heartbeat is a weapon of mass destruction, but it doesn't last for very long. Okay.

Goliath stature, poise posture, and sopistication - truely a specimen.
This is probably the only sentence that has some validity here. We finally realize that this character is a huge, sophisticated lab rat.

Intellect and brawn; amongst intamacies.
Keep away from the crotch. It's smart -and- tough!

An ethereal spectre - mystical, celestial...
A figment of my imagination. Phew! I don't have to put up with you!


kh || axel || hip to be square

(no subject)

Kid One brought home the class hamster for spring break. Ideally, I'd have known this at some point before arriving home to find it here yesterday. It's very cute and outgoing, but apparently fucking on crack because that fool thing has been running on its squeakyish exercise wheel since, oh, 7pm. See note above as to time. I know this because it was doing it the whole time I was up, and husband reported, on waking me, that it was still doing it, and now, well, still. If we were to rig a tiny hamster bicycle and lap pool in the cage, I bet it would have done the fucking ironhamster triathlon by now. And here I am propping open my eyelids while my body refuses to sleep. Fucker.

--florahart in this post here
  • Current Mood
    mischievous mischievous
Plead the FIF!

Locked post.

This random dude walked up to me and he goes "I never see black people around white people here. I'm from detriot" and I'm like "Nice." and he was like "When I go to the black clubs, people look at me like im crazy but I'm just there to have a good time. I only date black women." and I was like "I'll be right back." and I walked off.

- __girlsetsfire

It's funny because it happens all the freaking time to me too.
Me Smiling

Oh the subject of Zen

Via elorie

I know you are young male college students of a certain type, and pseudo-intellectual wanking is your primary goal, occupation, and raison d'etre.

But you know, when I come to the zendo, it's to sit quietly in stillness, you know, all that Zen Buddhist crap.

I am not interested in how many ancient languages you want me to think you know, whether you approve of the translation of the Great Heart of Wisdom Sutra, how many books you have read about Eastern religions, what your opinion of the socio-political situation in China, Tibet, or the rest of Asia is, or indeed any of your opinions whatsoever.

At the risk of sounding woefully un-Zen, shut the fuck up you blithering little spiritual poseur, before I channel my past incarnation as a Zen master and thwap you up side the head to knock some enlightenment in..

Now I know why really hard-core Zen monks carry sticks.
  • Current Mood
    pleased pleased
  • woolf

(no subject)

My dear husband, who has dealt with the seamier side of the General Public for the majority of his adult life has a favorite saying:

No good deed goes unpunished.

I'll expound, because I'm Lil' Miss Obvious today. The meaning is: whenever you go out of your way to do something extra nice for someone, expect not only total ingratitude, but also a square kick in the teeth for good measure. Because when you're dealing with "John Q. Public," the Q stands for "Quite an asshole."

--serratia here, in a rant which anyone who works in healthcare will appreciate.
  • Current Music
    Daniel Beddingfield - I Can't Read You
best picture ever.

Some people are just worth quoting often

dar_actually sounds off on the movies in this post:

"Jaws is a film about stupid people. Oh dear, where's the safest place to be when a shark's in the water? The boat? No, dumbass, the safest place to be when a shark is about is down at the pub, having a beer and watching football on TV. Unless the shark takes a cab, shows up at the pub and orders a Miller, you'll be fine."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
baby's black balloon makes her fly

Another TP quote. What?

From the ever-eloquent apocalypsos:

And that little bastard better not have grown any taller in the last few months. Damn it, I'm the older sister. I'm not supposed to stand next to him, look up, and glare as my inner Ralphie's Father snaps, "You used up all of the tall on purpose!"
  • Current Music
    "Senorita" by Justin Timberlake O_O

(no subject)

innerpoise is starting to worry...

What the heck is wrong with Amazon Recommendations? Sometimes it's clever and insightful and knows me like it stalks me and goes through my garbage at night.
Hello, my darling. I know everything you want and everything you don't yet know you want.
-This is a book entirely about art deco hair.
Wow, Amazon! Y'know I cut my hair like Amelie last year.
Yes, I remember. You looked lovely.
-Hey, I know you forgot that the new Sophie Kinsella novel is out, but I didn't!
Oh, Amazon! I heart Luke Brandon!
-Look, here's Don Juan DeMarco on DVD.
Hey, I was watching this on Starz! a couple of weeks ago.
Yes, I know you were. You liked the part where he did a little dance with the male nurse.
Geez, Amazon. You're starting to creep me out here.

And then other times it's all, Dora the Explorer! New DVD! And then I'm all, Amazon Recommendations, no recommending! Mona Lisa Smile?! Oh Amazon, you don't know me at all! *sob* That's it, we're finished!