Metaquotes

“Hi, it's Celli. Um, I promised a bunch of people that I would post when I got home and let everybody know that the plane got in okay. Um. But the plane was late! We had a brake problem, and we had an ice problem and we had a 'We're going to fly around in Wisconsin for a while' problem, which was highly entertaining." --celli

Look, E!, I know you want so hard to jump on the Nostalgia TV show bandwagon, but jesus. 101 Reasons the 90s Ruled? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? That's only 10 years ago! I can't romanticize a decade that I remember too much of. You might as well have a show called "I Love The Other Day When We Got Some Chinese Food". --hmfeelyat in this post

zionchild, on why he isn't a vegetarian:

These innocent "cows" you keep talking about and defending are actually Neo-Nazi spies that are out to get me and my family. My only defense is to eat them, thereby acquiring their intelligence and moo-sonic superpowers.

"You're so cute when you're sleep deprived! I have the exact same emotional response problem when I haven't slept, you're definitely not alone there. I could drop some toast and just feel totally defeated by life."
(sparklesparkle in so_gracefully's recent journal entry)

Okay, so it's known that I'm a liberal who won't only burn her bra, but maybe burn it while I'm still in it because I took one too many tequila shots from someone's cleavage...at least, I hope that was cleavage...

-- mice

Damn it, America. Right when I think you've hit the end your layers of stupidity, you come up with another one. It's never ending. America, you are a bad 80's feathered mullet.

-- mice

"My dear, vapid co-worker, when the seam of your pants is lacing up between your nether lips like a bit in a horse's mouth, there is a problem. I could take you by the belt and make you move in any direction I wished. Slight tug and a "Gee" and you'd be taking a right down the hallway until I gave you a gentle "Haw" to nudge you into the ladies room for a serious talking to.

I hate it when you walk into my cubicle and I am seated. Then I am forced to turn and look into the gaping maw of your denim covered snatch. Yes, I said snatch. Your camel toe is coming to get me and I am frightened."

--- raphaela, in comments for This post

BTW, what's my race card good for? Do I get free oil changes or 20% off my food at McDonald's or something?

Read the drama that set it off here.

( Collapse )

--ebonbird, commenting on the story fromlast year about the Catholic Schoolgirls in Philadelphia who encountered a flasher, then chased him down and beat him within an inch of his life.

I so need to do laundry. It was whispering at me today.

"Psst...we wahnt yer women. Yer wife, yer leettle girl...how much for dem?"

azzinita


Disc Sophist is sick and wishes to be better before a rehearsal:

Teiresias isn't half as imposing when he's hacking out his prophecies along with a phlegm-covered lung. A dramatization, if you will:

Teiresias: You will be crushed more *wheeze* misera- *cough cough* miserably than any man *hackhackwheeze* on earth! *kersplat*

Oedipus: Is that your lung?

Teiresias: Er...no? *coughcough*

Oedipus: Yes it is! Look, it's got phlegm all over it!

Teiresias: Shove it, motherfucker.

-disc_sophist

when mirabellawotr can summarize the haunting (1998, or whatever) so succinctly?

LILI TAYLOR: "I won't let you hurt a child!"
ME: Um, didn't he actually kill them like a hundred years ago?
LILI TAYLOR: SO not the point.
ME: I'm just saying, I kind of think he's done all the damage he needs to.
OWEN WILSON: Ow! Fuck!
ME: Ew, that had to hurt.
LIAM NEESON: Did you notice that I'm really really hot?
ME: Why, yes. Yes, I did.
HUGH CRANE: RAAAAR! I am scary!
ME: That's funny, 'cause you look a lot like a bigass Muppet to me.
LIAM NEESON: I'll just stand over here and be all hot.
CATHERINE ZETA-JONES: Hey! I'm hot too, you know. Let's blow this popsicle stand and go fuck.
ME: Are you talking to me or Liam?

"Ha. The American Family Association (which is an uber-conservative religious group, for those who don't know) has been spamming me periodically ever since I voted in one of their poll things, and my mail program window is just the right size to abbreviate "American Family Association" to "American Family Ass."

I like it when life is apt."

- upsilamba

On clubbing at Nocturne, twilightsorcery wrote:

As she is planning a detailed post on the subject, I will only say that we saw:


Draco in bondage pants
Zacharias in eyeliner and leather, talking with James Potter
Walden McNair, shirtless and wearing a skirt
Percy and Lucius's love child, in a black turtleneck
and and and
a guy in a Snapely black frock coat with lots of buttons, who flirted with me when I leaned over the bar to allow my breats to capture the bartender's attention and get us drinks.


And I blushed, smiled, and ran away. DAMNIT.

Rest can be read here

I've got Emily J sitting at the computer next to me singing "Polytetrafluoroethene". It's quite funny really. I've never known anyone to get quite so enthusiastic about Teflon.

Sarah is over the other side of the room, searching for Nylon, but she keeps getting pictures of bras and women who aren't wearing anything but tights.

That's right. We're doing stuff on Polymers.


-A rant on polymers by spotsofcolour when she was, no doubt, meant to be doing something entirely more useful XD

"I'm going to make a movie, called The Enlightment of the Buddha to show all the other Buddhists out there what Buddha went throught to reach enlightment and show the rest of man kind how to leave the endless circle of reincarnation. It shall be about how he sat under the tree and meditated. For two hours, we will see the great Buddha meditate under his tree, peacefully, in order to reach enlightment, and every good Buddhist shall see it! But we won't bog the movie down with how he got to be where he is or what the result of his meditation was, or what he said before and after, because you know, that's not really IMPORTANT. What's important is that the man sat under a tree and reached enlightment!"

-kwan_yin

It's amazing what will come to people while taking showers.

From the amazing bumblepup:

I actually had a chem test today, it ate me alive. It started gnawing at my hand, worked its way up to my arm and my shoulder. It finally made it to my heart and gnawed away at that for a while. It destroyed a (tiny) section called "Ability to Love Chemistry".