February 27th, 2004

Best Warren Ellis Post. Ever.

It occurs to me that an awful lot of trouble in Gotham City could have been averted a long time ago if Batman had just ripped the Joker's nipples off.

I mean, treatment doesn't work, does it? They stick the Joker in the nuthatch, he comes out again and does the same things.

A man with the nipples ripped off him does not make the same mistakes twice.

Criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot, and need the nipples ripped off them.

I mean, who's going to argue?

"Batman, I've heard disturbing reports that you ripped the Joker's nipples off."

"Choke on my fuck, Commissioner Gordon."


"I'm Batman" isn't cutting it in the striking-fear-into-their-hearts stakes. But "I'm Batman -- and I'm here for your nipples" is an entirely different proposition.

I'm off to ring DC Comics.

Full post here
we are all pawns in the hand of sad monk

This has nothing to do with The Passion of Christ.

SUMISHINA: You know atheists? Man, I hate atheists. They're so... so priggish. They're as close-minded about their particular religion - and make no goddamn mistake, atheism's a religion - as any of the fundamentalists they so claim to hate, but they also think they're stylish, and ironic, and goddamn it...


SUMISHINA: Thanks, Godzilla. You always know how to calm me down.

JESUS: I love you all, especially that girl over there with the massive knockers! Hoo-boy!

SUMISHINA: Oh, Jesus. You so crazy.

- laundreu quoting from a AIM conversation with kadrin. There is urgent need that you read the whole thing. Urgent. Every last word is hilarious.

Advice from a proofreader

From a public post by brisingamen which we should all take to heart. Yes indeed. Go read the whole thing:

Assuming you do breathe while speaking (and given what you're writing about, I really hope you do), please try reading your own prose out aloud according to your own punctuation. Every time you turn red and start clutching your throat in the middle of a sentence, because you have run out of breath, consider why this might be. I'm not saying that a pause should be directly equated with a comma but on occasion a comma is the visual equivalent of taking a breath. Please bear this in mind.

[accidentally posted to my own journal first. Gahhh.]
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  • spatz

Mammoths and Singing Resumes

celli on visiting a paleontological dig site with as many as 100 mammoths buried there:

We discovered in the course of our tour that all of the mammoths found have been male, and most have been 13 to 25--yes, mammoth teenagers. They figure that's because they were bucking the control of the matriarchs in charge of the herd and going for the easy grass in winter. Now I can't get this out of my head: a mama mammoth saying, "Young man, if all your friends jumped into the sinkhole, would you jump too?"

copperbadge, mixing Harry Potter and internship applications:

I bet you in the HPverse they have singing jobagrams. "Hire Meee, I sing on keeeey, I'm fabulouslyyyy, researchyyyy..." sort of like a really earnest, hardworking Howler.

Clearly the vicadin is working.
  • tarpo

(no subject)


from a forum I was reading, in relation to the new Jesus movie....

eat this popcorn, for it is my body
drink this coke, for this is my blood.

But I say unto thee, I will not drink of this
until that day when I drink it new with you
on the network prime-time premier.

- caycos sharing a posting from a msg board