Metaquotes

"Assemble the movie goers at the gates of every theatre in the nation, you have 2 days.

On the third we ride for the Oscars..and war."

king_theoden in lordoftherings

For commodoresexual and the rest of our mad pirate crew: What better way to relax after a hard day of pillaging and plundering than a good round of monk riding?

(Click on it. It is so worth it.)

I love how the pirate on the left looks bored and pouty: "My monk isn't doing anything. Wah. Monk riding sucks. Why did I ever become a pirate anyway? All I ever get is the boring monks. Piracy sucks. "

Whereas the pirate on the right is all, "Hyahh! Onward, monk! onward! *whipcrack*" and the monk is all, "Uh, I'm going to crash into this other monk." *flailflail*

This must be why Capt. Sparrow impersonated a member of the Church of England. Monk riding.


------kerrypolka

"In about an hour I'm finally going to be interviewed over the phone by a prospective employer.... I was first contacted about this job last week while I was in Evansville buying comics. To prepare for the interview I went to Evansville yesterday and bought a book on Java. I came back and learned that I'd missed another call from another company, so there's someone else I have to call back. Maybe President Bush is right about the economy. If I go out and spend money on goods and services, businesses will have more money to invest in things like, say, a new computer database to track inventory or whatever. This creates more demand in the tech sector, which encourages people to hire more computer programmers! It worked! It actually worked! You're a genius, Mister Pres--oh, screw it, I'm still voting for Kerry." -- jim_smith

apocalypsos the lovely on That Movie (tm), here:

"It's not like I really care about going so much as I just really, really want to review it. Then again at this point, I can kind of see my review coming a mile away ...

The Passion of the Christ

Jesus gets killed. A LOT."

bumblepudding read an editorial (titled "Gay Marriage Devalues Women") written by the father of a young girl. His whole reply was amusing, but here's just a little bit of it:

Second, the patronizing notion that "gay marriage devalues women" conveniently ignores the prospect of union between two females. If this fellow's poor daughter is not "essential" to a marriage between two men, would she not by the same logic be *doubly* "essential" to a marriage between two women? Running the numbers, that results in no net loss in the apparently crucial category of marital "essentialness."

Was doing some shopping today when I came across a rack of horoscope shirts that gave descriptions of the sign in a flattering tag line. Purely out of curiosity (since horoscopes, in my mind, are as useful as penis enlargement spam - occasionally entertaining) I searched for a Scorpio shirt. After pushing my way though a pile of Geminis (witty, creative, artistic), and Taurus (loving, friendly, kind) I finally came across a Scorpio. "Stay away, moody, possessive, secretive"

>.> I now feel inspired to make my own horoscope shirt. It would read, "Scorpio: I eat babies" or maybe, "Scorpio: Wanted for sex crimes in 43 states" Mmn. Maybe in keeping with the evil secrecy of my sign, I should henceforth claim to be a Saggatarius...

-inkysweet whom I love.

I saw this in librarian50's journal:



One of the people on staff made the comment that if our editor had been alive in Biblical times, there would be only 5 commandments.

I took this as a challenge:


I’m God. Get over it.
They’re your parents. Behave.
That stuff that’s not yours; don’t mess with it.
Don’t kill each other.
You lie in court, you go to hell.

Why am I always plagued by this lack of trousers? -wax_jism

The same people who were so pissed about Janet Jackson's boob popping out are the same ones who are going to take their kids to see a two-hour torture extravaganza because it's about Jay-zus.

~ ryl

*looks out window*
*sees white car parked out on the street*
*looks at DO NOT PARK sign*
*sees car parked right in front of the sign, obviously parked rather ILLEGALLY*
*looks out again to see if person is in car*
*sees no person in car*
*looks outside again just to make sure she's not seeing things*
*sees in fact, yes, there is a car parked right in front of the sign, when said car could in fact be moved 20 feet and be parked legally*
*looks puzzled*
*goes back to cleaning*

-- sarcasticchick

spinooti: Cannot sleep. Probably something to do with the fact that I drank half a gallon of sweet tea in an attempt to urinate away my anger.

---

spinooti: The more I think about it, the more I fall in love with the idea of Christopher Columbus's crew landing in Hell. (Yes, I know there are lots of folks in literature who have sailed/sallied forth into hell, but any of them accidentally? That is what's getting me.) (Also, getting to construct my own hell.) Trying to pin down the narrator dude. His voice isn't hard to find: Absolute fear liberally flavored with utter confusion. I am slightly obsessing over thier first night on shore where the majority of them die and becoming the new guardians of the dead, along with all who dared head thataways afore 'em. Mmmm, vikings and australopithecines.

annlarimer: Columbus'll still insist he's in India.

spinooti: Exactly! He is very confused the whole time. The narrator really wants to kill him.

singe: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
mooncalf: Because you can eat them both, if you try hard enough.

---

crantz: The miracle of life has occurred in my closet and I now possess baby degus. Free to good home/hungry cat.
terminal_frost: Have both. Can I have one?
crantz: bastards gotta be sold in groups.
terminal_frost: One for me; one for the cat then. That should work.
crantz: nono. It's because a solitary degu will get depressed and die.
terminal_frost: I don't think they'll notice if one's eaten; I doubt they can count.

Am in the middle of HMS Surprise. Jack has debauched Stephen's sloth.

-- insidian, here...

Today's Garfield is begging to be metaquotes'ed. ::g::

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copied (with permission) from debina's protected entry:

LJ sucks a big ASS tonight. I have hit refresh more times than Bobby's hit Whitney. fucker.

That is all - *giggle*

"Educate yourself or kill yourself. Natural selection just doesn't have the time to weed all you fucking idiots out."


nobodysecho, in fuckyoulist


Hahaha.

"So far, so good--Jesus, unlike G.W. Bush, got no special perks for having an important dad."

-- cesperanza, in the comments of a magnificent essay about The Passion of the Christ in Betty Plotnick's lj.

hanakirei85, whose name is 'Coral': my Health teacher, thinks my name is Carol no matter how much I try to tell her otherwise. Maybe she thinks I was born with a typo.

When people write non-con, at least they have the decency label it clearly for the squickable, but these kiddie fics, you can just walk onto unawares. It's not right.


--smirnoffmule in a post in fanficrants.

irradiatedsoup watched 'Once Upon A Time In Mexico'. This post contains her initial reactions.

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