February 16th, 2004

flame on

(no subject)

There's a thing called a bloodless castrator. Costs about $200 US, last I checked, and it's basically a huge pair of anvil pliers. You clamp it on the scrotum above the testicles, leave it for two minutes, and then unclamp it and the vas have been severed.

You can also dock tails with it, and it fits in your purse.

It does not make julienne fries, however.

(noveldevice in here re: this website--not for the faint of stomach)

(no subject)

What do you get when you cross a minimalist colour-phobic precision painter who makes miniature scale models of Old Trafford in his spare time and a slap-happy ex-hippy with no semblance of taste, style or culture in interor decorating and an abnormally strange attatchment to quilted cushions?

The answer..... My parents newly decorated bedroom.

from __apotheosis
Dragon Age - pavelyan ending

(no subject)

From this post by understandish:

"man, dorkiest post ever, i know. on an end note, there is one breed of dog that i really don't like - the greyhound. no offense to greyhound lovers/owners, but i think they are too pointy and creepy and that they would have french accents and pencil thin moustaches if they could and would twirl said moustache while plotting to kill you in your sleep."

Some good pics, too.
So tired

Surfing randomly I came across a man watching NASCAR

He decided to write a letter to Charles D. Strang, NASCAR Commissioner. An excerpt:

In short, NASCAR needs more power ups. In comparing this race to, say, a hard fought round of Mario Kart 64, a number of deficiencies are apparent. Mario Kart drivers have access to a series of weapons: banana peels to cause spinouts of opponents, turtle shell shaped missiles of both plain and guided varieties, mushrooms for bursts of speed, and stars to cause opponents to become small and useless while the driver with the star becomes extra fast and temporarily invulnerable.

Think of the possibilities! Popular drivers could make magical comebacks in the final laps with judiciously placed stars and mushrooms. Unpopular drivers could find banana peels spinning them out at the vital moment. Your scripts could be so much more varied than the usual formula of round and round and round and crash and round and round and round.


P.S. this is my first post here. I hope I haven't broken any rules.
icon sucks error (by marjun)

(no subject)

amscapecait, in this thread in liberal:
I just came across this Bush quote, which I hadn't heard before and was, for some reason, stunned. You'd think I wouldn't be surprised by Bush's ignorance/stupidity anymore, but it still got me on this one.

to be fair, you don't criticize what mentally retarded children say, do you?
Captain Marvel

(no subject)

One of my LJ friends got spam for 'The Passion' in his journal comments. Yes, folks, in case none of the other conversion attempts has been enough to win you over to Christianity, maybe this blatant form letter and its endearing misspellings will do it. My favorite line: " If you want to help others to realize what Christ did for us, encourage them to see this movie!" And if your friends haven't already found out what a fucktard Godzilla is... - lucifrix
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

(no subject)

Indigo Girls FAN FICTION? Okay. My first thought was to go "ew no oh my god that is so WRONG!" -- but I'm actually okay with the idea. You know why? Because it means that I still have the power to go up to these people [i.e. the authors of such fic] and say with absolute unwavering confidence, "I have so much more of a life than you."

thunderemerald, here.
all fucked up on hockey

(no subject)

(no subject)

erlking after a fundie spammed our journals with anti-gay marriage links:

"Scripture isn't proof. Stop using the Bible to excuse illogical and ignorant opinions. IT'S FUCKING MYTHOLOGY! Do I quote the Illiad to support my opinions? No. I use things like logic, reason, and empirical evidence! A spiritual text is a spiritual text, but it has no place in a rational debate about non-spiritual issues."
  • crantz

(no subject)


Ack. o_o; I just upgraded AIM, which is now filled with the wonders of "LET'S NOTIFY YOU WHEN EVERYONE ON YOUR BUDDY LIST DOES SOMETHING"

(Person is idle.)
(Person is back from being idle)
(Person2 has signed online)
(Person3 has signed off.)
(Person 4 has expressed sexual desire towards you)
(Person 5 agrees to bring alcohol)

from a locked post with permission.
Fish Bowl

(no subject)


So yeah, On the way home i saw two things that made me feel a little weird.

1. A "animal" or the remains of one at least spread for about 10-15 feet down 95

2. Somebody driving around dressed up as a british soldier.

I'm still not sure which one traumatized me more.
Plead the FIF!

Fuck Vagina Monologues

my penis is a light post lighting my way home. my penis is an all attractions amusement park where men, women, and children alike can rides the rides free of charge in a sweet euphoric environment all day long. my penis is the open bar at a five star hotel that serves only the finest beverages to the finest customers. my penis is the super bowl, billions of people watching, wishing they were in the game, but only the best of the best participating. my penis is a starving ethiopian child with a can of non perishable food and no can opener. my penis is just. my penis has a first name, it's O S C A R. my penis is clean. my penis likes to feel dirty. my penis is loved. my penis prefers not be called my cock but instead my muscle of love. my penis knows the meaning of life. my penis IS the meaning of life.

- goodejohnny