February 11th, 2004

(no subject)

"...the priest at Mass today (rescheduled from Catholic Schools Week due to snow day) kept looking at the ceiling. That had me thinking, 'um, hi? Your audience is down here, actually? 'Cause if you're talking to God, I'd think God already knows all this stuff.' "

from minkhollow
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
kaylee - Serenity

polaroids got a wrong number call ...

You can check out the whole thing here, and I reccomend you do, because it is flippin' hillarious. An excerpted teaser ...

me: Hello?
other person: THANK GOD you answered! Look, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I know we said we were going to take a break for a while but it was really assholish of me to go out with someone right away, and especially your cousin. It wasn't even a real date, we just hung out for a while and talked. We didn't have sex, I swear. I know Mike told you we did, but we didn't. I promise we didn't.
me: ...are you finished?
other person: I guess so. I'm so sorry.
me: You have the wrong number.
ncis - tony/ziva - right there

(no subject)

muskrat_john cracks me up:

Irish convention-goers are known for their unbelievable generosity. They regularly raise sums of money unheard of at American of English cons. Mostly - I think - this is because the Irish nature is wondrous and giving to a fault. The fact that Irish cons ALSO hold their charity auctions in pubs might have a teeny something to do with this as well.

And in the same post, further down:

by the way, thank YOU, Washington D.C., for sending the dollar plummeting against pretty much every currency on the planet, including some that I believe are seashell-based
  • Current Mood
    fannish
Plead the FIF!

Quoting myself as an introduction

Vet: So let me get this story straight. You go to your old vet with this cat...
Mom: Yes.
Vet: And they tell you the cat's not pregnant...
Mom: Yes.
Vet: Less than two weeks later she gives birth...
Mom: Yup.
Vet: Then the vet doesn't give you any instructions and all five of the babies die.
Mom: That's correct.
Vet: Then you later return to this same vet...
Mom: That we do.
Vet: They advise you not to spay your animal.
Mom: They said to wait.
Vet: And now the animal is in heat and trying to mount your other female cat.
Mom: Our poor cat is so frazzled.

*pause*

Vet: Your vet's a moron and so are you.

True story.

- blackperson
Tree
  • enyalie

Kids, you know...

... I guess I forget what it's like to be a starry-eyed teenager!

And I get really, really annoyed when someone posts, "Well, I wanted to move to England, but my parents are assholes." Most teenagers should be a bit more appreciative of their parents and I lose all sympathy if their big reason for using obscenities to describe their parents is because their parents won't pack up and move to another continent. ;) My parents failed to buy me a live unicorn, but I kept my tongue in place.

---
jenocclumency
  • Current Mood
    amused amused

(no subject)

Seen in an entry by fearlessdiva:

Ewan McGregor to voice lead for animated movie, Gnomeo and Juliet, which is, and I quote, "a computer-animated tale about star-crossed love between ceramic gnomes." With songs by Elton John and Tim Rice.




*Dies*
  • Current Mood
    awake
springtime the pony

(no subject)

croaky:

Friend: So what are you doing?
Me: The usual at this time. Tea and Photoshop. How about you?
Friend: Channelsurfing. Will be watching XXX soon. ........... I mean the action movie.
Me: ............... *grin* Actionmovie. Of course it is.
Friend: Hey, you where there when I purchased it! ;)
Me: Much action in such movies, yeah.
Friend: Yes. I understand you are familiar with that category.
Me: I deny everything.
sunday in the sunset leaves

I might be talked into watching that...

From a discussion about some of the anti-gay-marriage argument (particularly Dubya's part therein):
mlle_skeetre: The man takes too much on himself. He's going to show up wearing one of those three-tier tiaras during his next speech.
athene_51: With pink marabou edging? I would totally watch just for that. Canadian TV channels would have a field day.
Didn't you know? He's not only the leader of the most powerful country on earth, he's the saviour of Iraq and the only person to ever be in the National Guard without actually
being in the National Guard. I expect he'll need a superhero cloak to go with that tiara.
  • Current Music
    "The Remedy" - Jason Mraz (stuck in head)
molotov

druggie humour

tazerfloyd is being mean. I guess I'm meaner, since I laughed at it.

this is awful....

Oh man. I have to quote this guy's journal:

"....I got home and had a email from one of my friends that Alan Weed died. He grew up across the street from me and was one of my close childhood friends. He died of a drug overdose Friday. He was 28. If you knew my old roommate Doug, it was his ex-wife's younger brother.

wow..."


He's from Oklahoma and he only added me today. And then this is what I say to his whole story:

"Alan Weed died of a drug overdose? I don't really know what to say to that. It reads kind of hillarious though, I must say.

Wow indeed.

And oh yes...sorry."


I have no tact. Er, no i shouldn't have said anything.
Martin J Heade
  • ase

Port, Pringles, and Wimsey

"Am drinking tawny port and eating Pringles, which is decidedly a combination of which Lord Peter Wimsey would not approve, but then if he had to run out in the evening with only a sketchy dinner inside him it was to examine corpses or the like and not to attend PTA meetings, which inspire bad taste."

-hedda62 in her journal.