February 10th, 2004

Non-Stick

(no subject)

alot like how mariah carey plays "air clit" when she sings. she holds up her hand as tho shes about to testify to the lawd but then her middle fingers go stiff and start circling an imaginary clitoris in the sky. watch her. tell me im wrong.

~ kiakaha
Music - Tyson

(no subject)

From slodwick, posted with permission:


So, The Mom & Step-Dad went to IKEA today, and they brought back two lamps, one of which was to go in my bedroom.

Anyway, The Mom and I are standing in the kitchen, assembling my lamp, and I was having trouble getting the upright portion to thread properly onto the base, when the following exchange was had:


The Mom: Maybe if you flip it over, and try the other end?

Me: No, no... that won't work. See? It'd be two male ends.

The Mom: Well, that'll never do. It would threaten the sanctity of the lamp.
snafu

(no subject)

ajhalluk on why movies and memos don't mix well:

Must not write letters to the bastard git-faced spawn of the devil law-firm from hell while under the influence of RoTK. Have just narrowly stopped myself from stating,

"There may come an application when disclosure of the data you demand may be relevant. But it is not this application!"
smoking dwiv
  • dwivian

Nice ..... necklace.......

From amenquohi

This morning I am wearing a new pink sweater, and to complement it, I chose a long necklace that has a large filigree heart. I get to work, and I pass my VP, Mike, in the hallway. Here's the actual conversation:

Mike: Good morning! You look very nice today. I see you have a big heart on.

Me: Yeah, I wake up that way a lot.

He still can't pass my cubicle without laughing.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
K: Ilwaranta, Bloody Hell, K: Kitties, K: Mermaid, K: Kuzco

(no subject)

From quixotic_sense: alphabet pr0n!

And some selections from to this post discussing an already quite vile bishop whose excuse for a hit-and-run was "I thought I'd only hit a dog" (!):

ryl: Next time I hit a bishop, I'm not going to stop because I knew I hit a bishop!
quantumbitch: Does this happen a lot for you?
ryl: It's going to.

m_fallenangel: What pains me most is that this bastard will likely never see a minute's worth of jail time when he should, in fact, be publicly stoned. Despite having a shitload of "sins" under my belt, I would gladly cast the first stone. And the second. And the last. Hell, I'd pack a lunch and make a day of it, followed by some antiquing.

pootrootbeer: I'd like to walk up to him and just slap him once, hard, across the face. I might spend a few hours in lockup for simple assault, but more importantly he'd get a face full of slap.
  • eiluned

(no subject)

adjectivegirl

I'm not sure if this is a widespread problem, but I now have cherry tomato angst. Whatever worries I had previously about spearing the suckers or popping them into my mouth or winging them entirely off my plate in an ill-advised spoon manuver is now multiplied a hundredfold after seeing ROTK.

Squish. DAMN YOU, TASTY VEGGIE YOU KILLED THE BRAVE MEN OF GONDOR!
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
i'll see you when my lifeboat sails

(no subject)

All should head over to ladyjaida's journal for her hi-frickin-larious guides to Harry Potter, Wiess Kreuz, and Lord of the Rings. Highlights include:

Fic Author: Sirius put eyeliner on.
Jaida: What?
Fic Author: And shiny leather pants.
Jaida: Why?
Fic Author: Suddenly, Remus was behind him.
Jaida: How?
Fic Author: With glitter.
Jaida: Huh?
Fic Author: "Oh Sirius," Remus said. "I love you passionately to the tunes of David Bowie."
Jaida: Help?
Callanish

Because it's LiveDrama...

Yoinked from grace_batmonkey because she's said a mouthful, and artfully

I've a couple of comments for her [theresahr].

One is in reply to her deciding to keep a comment because of the poor typing exhibited (she's deleting all others in support of the "slut"): "Which means you only delete the intelligent ones that make points you can't refute with your mean-spirited narrow-mindedness, then?"

The other is in general. I just need to choose which entry to reply to:
"What an adorable little baby feminist you are. What a sweet, darling little social experiment you've turned out to be. How on earth any other feminists made it so far in this world before you were able to enlighten us, I'll never know.

Perhaps we've all been missing out, all this time, by seeking to appreciate the strength and diversity of the feminine experience and allowing women to claim their sexuality and independence and ability to look however they want. Obviously, any TRUE feminist needs to meet your exacting guidelines for appearance (I mean, sakes alive, huge breasts is a sign of giving in to the chauvinist regime or something) and sexual expression, since you are so very knowledgeable, experienced, and educated in the ways that make women truly free and aware. And children, my goodness, are of course best raised in a home where these standards are applied. Sameness! We must have sameness! Feminism cries for it, the nation calls for it, and, by the light of Gloria Steinem, the very cosmology of Womanhood calls for it!

Bless you, theresahr (creative screen name, by the way - I commend you! did it take long to contract your legal name in such a way to produce this statement of originality and intelligence?), for providing this education to all of the feminists who had no idea that we were veering so far off course!

May your mindset produce suitable lessons, and your actions fruitfully multiply in kind over the course of your life."

I'm making sure to ONLY use breastacular icons, because she needs to get over her fear of boobs (I will resist saying it's because she is one, since that would be mean).
Stetsons are cool

(no subject)

I know it's so crass to Metaquote yourself, but this was a wonderful addition from burakkupansa over MSN. It regards our male friends using Photoshop while we prefer the simpler yet funkier Paint Shop Pro, and it's here

Katti: I think it's a girl vs boy thing
Steph: So Photoshop is the computer graphics way to show you're a REAL man?
Katti: yes
Katti: *snickers*
Katti: esp as PSP opens with an image of a womna
Katti: I wonder what photoshop opens with
Katti: an image of a pair of tits?
  • Current Mood
    silly silly
  • cimness

we all know the feeling.

Ellen's Grading Song

I hate my students.
I wish they all would die.
I wish they would all die painfully
Of horrible disfiguring diseases.

Then again, there's disembowlment.
Disembowlment's fine with me.
Or spontaneous combustion,
Or being eaten by weasels.

I hate my students.
They're severely short on pustules.
They are insufficiently leperous,
And far too much alive.

-ellen_fremedon