February 3rd, 2004

(no subject)

So I have CoS playing in the background while I work, and on a whim I decided to set the French subtitles running. Some of the character names in the subtitles are different, I don't know why - Snape, for example, is now Rogue, which brings up weird and bad thoughts of X-Men crossovers - and they changed Tom Riddle's last name to something, I forget what.

Well, of course Tom Marvolo Somethingelse doesn't rearrange to I Am Lord Voldemort, so they had to give him a new middle name too. You know what French!Tom's middle name is?

Elvis. No, shut up, I'm serious.

I can just see a team of translators shrieking in delight when they figured out that "Je suis Voldemort" was going to require Elvis as a middle name. See, and you thought Elvis was dead. Not so. It's only going to be a matter of time before Voldemort brings the white glittery suits out of mothballs, grows out his sideburns, and takes back his rightful place as the King, and then Britney Spears and the Backstreet Boys are going to PAY.


- mirabellawotr

(no subject)

In other news, tonight my laptop and I shall battle to the pain in the gladiator ring. If I win, I get to lower it slowly into a vat of molten steel while the love theme to "Terminator 2" plays. If it wins, it gets to walk up behind me quietly and poke me over the edge of the Cliffs of Insanity when I least expect it. Ours is a forbidden love ... mostly because too many innocent bystanders have been maimed.

--apocalypsos.
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Faded

(no subject)

The following is reposted with permission from it's author - wild_magnolia

The good news is that I finally got my visitor; the bad news is that I finally got my visitor. I feel like crap and I think it is so unfair that women have to go through this. Men don't have to deal with anything. Women are supposed to shave every square inch of hair off their bodies except for what's on their heads, and that hair is supposed to be gorgeous. We have to go through this biological, reproductive hell every month and in order to keep this planet stocked with jerks and idiots we have to carry big sacks of human around in our guts for almost a year and then shove them through our loins in a Houdini-like manner that makes me vomit just thinking about it. We have to wear bras and high heels and pantyhose and makeup and anything that looks good on us is uncomfortable. A man can look nice in a loose shirt and pants but he still whines about having to wear a tie. Try wearing metal around your chest that pokes into your sternum, you little bitch. Men whine about shaving their faces. Try shaving your entire body and still having that not be good enough, so that you have to pour hot wax on it and rip it off at the root. Try keeping your temper when you spend half an hour manicuring your nether regions only to have a guy tell you they "really prefer a racing stripe". The next guy who tells me that is getting tied up, bent over, and having hot wax poured down his ass crack and ripped off with the bedsheets. How's that for a racing stripe, jerk?! A nice, red, irritated racing stripe that chafes. Oh, and also: the next guy that tells me he thinks I'd really like anal sex if I'd just give it a try because his ex-girlfriend liked it or whatever, is going to have to prove it to me by getting his own ass reamed by some other guy. You don't like that? Well, neither do I. Either go hang out on the set of Deliverance or shut up about it. And all those guys who claim they prefer women who don't wear makeup? Take a look in your next issue of Maxim or Playboy and tell me how many chicks in there aren't wearing any makeup. Have you ever seen celebrity women in the tabloids without makeup? They look just as bad as the rest of us. What you want is a girl who wears minimal makeup. Get a clue. All the pretty women you drool over wear makeup, you clods. At least back in the day, men went out and earned the money and did the hard work when it came to courting a woman; these days, we make more money than you do and you're all such pussies we have to ask you out and always make the first move. If a guy ever kissed me first instead of the other way around, I think I'd die of shock. Come on, guys. Do something.

Sorry. My ovaries are rebelling.
[C] - poutfaced

(no subject)

From doubtful_salmon:

THIS IS A PUBIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
If I hear one more comment about Janet Jackson's boob on metaquotes, I will eat my own liver.
Thank you.

ETA: We at doubtful_salmon apologise for the inconvenience and regret to inform you that I meant to type "Public" and not "Pubic."
We also regret to inform you that doubtful_salmon is an utter t00b, which, incidentally, rhymes with boob.
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Knight - Chosen wisely

You knew it was coming, right?

You knew, of course, it had to happen sooner or later. Indeed, I'm sure that this discussion has taken place in a thousand drugstores and Wal-Marts this week alone...

downinthemarrow: I picked up the WEIRDEST Lord of the Rings tin foil valentines at Walgreen's, so anybody who I think would appreciate one will be getting one of those along with the hand made valentine.

And then we said...

etoilepb: Are those the tinfoil LOTR valentines that have Denethor and Gollum, among others? I'm sorry, but I personally refuse to purchase any Denethor valentine unless it says, "I burn for you."
brassyn: "The heat of my desire consumes me"?
anne_asta: "Our love's like burnination!" ...oh. Terribly sorry. That's Trogdor.
brassyn: Hee! Back to old Denethor for a moment: "I am aflame with passion!"
anne_asta: Denethor, with kind regards (and apologies) to Blue Oyster Cult: "I'm burning I'm burning I'm burning for you..."
etoilepb: Hmm. "You light up my world?" 'course, that's backwards.
brassyn: It's a bleak and bitter post break-up Valentine: "I lit up your world. Literally."

(And it is a friends-only post, but quoted with permission.)