January 31st, 2004

molotov

Bush was nominated for the Nobel Prize...

The ever-quotable apocalypsos:

Dear President Bush,
We were very pleased to receive your application for the Nobel Peace Prize. However, we feel we must disqualify you due to your answer to Question One:
1. Have you started any wars?
_ Absolutely not!
_ Well, just the one. But I had a really good reason!
X Okay, so maybe two. And I did start a war on terror, but like that really counts.
Sincerely,
The Nobel Committee

To which anne_jumps responds:

The world has now jumped the shark.

Although, in all fairness kids, Nobel was the guy who invented dynamite. This whole debacle brings to mind one of my favourite quotes. "Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize". -- Tom Lehrer
Mai Yamani
  • mayhap

On makeup

A dramatic reenactment by the thrice-great ladyjaida:

Makeup: You will put me on now.
Jaida: I DON'T UNDERSTAND. *jabs lip gloss in the direction of eyes* OW IT BURNS.
Makeup: You need me to look fabulous.
Jaida: WHAT DO I DO WITH IT. *waves eyeshadow around the room, feels like a fairy*
Makeup: You need to ask someone competent for help.
Jaida: Oooh look this one is PURPLE *shakeshakeshake*
Makeup: I give up. You are one crap-ass girl.
Jaida: And THIS ONE is BLUE!
Mother: AHHH WHAT HAPPENED IN THIS BATHROOM?!
  • Current Mood
    rolling with laughter

(no subject)

From the ever-entertaining emrinalexander on annoying people in shops:

I hate people who have to make this big production out of what should be a simple and polite request. Hellooo - you are shopping at Foodland. Please don't ask me to move out of your way, when I'm not in it in the first place, in the tone of voice that implies: "I have to get over to baked goods RIGHT NOW, the cure all economic evils is loitering in the french rolls!"

Well, I have PMS so it was not her lucky night. Instead of simply blushing and flinging myself bodily into the shampoo rack, as I would under normal circumstances, I stood my ground. "I'm not blocking your way, unless you plan on becoming a double wide trailer in the near future." And went back to my shampoo perusing.

She sniffed and - amazingly! - sailed past me without any difficulty at all. I don't know what her problem was - maybe she belongs to a religious cult that forbids the buying of deoderant in the presence of a heretic.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused