crantz, listing the names of his pets by species:
Degus (degus are rodents. They look like rat-sized gerbils):
Degu. Is a degu.
Degu. Is also a degu.
Crazyass Degu. Fuck, get it away from me.
Sometimes I start spinning a yarn - the more outlandish the statement, the more I swear they are true. Like "Oh, I usually take my insulin shot in my eye, but didn't want to gross anyone out." Or "You're right. I shouldn't eat pasta today, I'll eat your lunch instead. Give it here." or even "I'm not doing a shot, I'm injecting nanomachines to digest my food for me. My stomach was removed when I was a baby to make room for my extra kidney."