Metaquotes

HAHA, mollyringwraith just needs to post directly here :)
'Rings' characters discuss Oscar snub

As Lord Aragorn put it to reporters, "The day may come when the Academy is able to find their ass with a flashlight. But this is not that day."

hisgreyeyes: Karl Urban is in The Chronicles of Riddick? Oh no, darling, there had better be truly incredible money for this. How embarrassing!

_redpanda_: Perhaps people won't recognize him in that, uh, haircut. o.O

hisgreyeyes: Oh, that's a haircut? I thought it was a small platypus clinging to his scalp.

Taken from this post by the robot-loving snowking, an extract from the alternative Pride and Prejudice:

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austenimus Prime

Elizabeth Bennet: I'm kept from admitting I love Darcy5000 by my pride. And my prejudice!

Darcybot 5000: MY LOVE IS HIDDEN *BEEP* DUE TO PREJUDICE *BEEP* AND PRIDE *BEEP*

Elizabeth: Oh, if only there was a way to get past them!

Darcy5000: ACTIVATING DEATH CANNONS

Darcy5000's arms turn into Super Killographic Death Cannons and destroy pride and prejudice.

Darcy5000: DARCYBOT IS READY FOR THE HUMAN SEXING NOW

threeoranges writes:

There is the argument that "Remus was a Dark Creature and therefore his condition made him vulnerable", but really the Secret is safe until the Keeper *chooses* to reveal it. Remus is not going to scream out the Secret whilst werewolfised (and if he did it would come out as "WHARRGHAHAAAARGGRRRRRRRRR!" anyway, which would not be terribly helpful to any eavesdropping Death Eater). Come to think of it, what could better defend the Secret than a homicidal maniac with fangs and claws anyway? No DE is going to want to get too close to him in the first place!

I love the smell of ignorance and hypocrisy in the morning. It smells so nice as it roasts over the fire of conscious thought. - geodyne

From an entry by the lovely tocomfortyou:

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE: I want Johnny to win simply for the look on his face as he realizes that of all the iconoclastic, inteligentsiadored roles he's taken over the years, he's getting rewarded for doing Disney. Oh, bitter irony, you flavor my life like sprouts.

feyfanatic and I have taken to imitating Howard Dean when talking about totally mundane household activities.

Example: "We're out of cookies! So we're going to the store! And then we're gonna go to the cookie aisle! And then we're gonna pick out some cookies! And buy them! YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAARGH!"

--blergeatkitty

poisoninjest reviews her spam:

Sender "îç÷øé àåáéé÷èéáé" would like me to know that "àúä öøéê àú îä ùàðçðå éåãòéí - àðçðå öøéëéí àú äðéñéåï ùìê." It's like banshees suddenly got computers.

hysterical kitty footage

In the interests of full disclosure, apocalypsos wants it known that something like this had already been said on AICN:

This year's best actor category features Ed Wood, Gandhi, Lemony Snicket, Peter Venkman and Jeff Spicoli.

Your icon rocks like a rocky thing.
--penmage here in mollyringwraith's Rings' Characters Discuss Oscar Snub which is worth a few metaquotes by itself.

chibirhm, in pottersues:

GhettoRap!Hagrid: Yo, yo, first years right HUR! And shake it like a polariod picTUR! Harry, yo scar is mad blinging, fo shizzle.

Reacting to "Even if weapons of mass destruction are never found in Iraq, the U.S.-led war was justified because it eliminated the threat that Saddam Hussein might again resort to 'evil chemistry and evil biology,' Attorney General John Ashcroft said Monday," ericmonster replied:

"Evil Biology? Evil Chemistry? Are those Republican code words for sex and drugs?!"

from wellstar who is a wee bit insane:

What I do have an opinion on, however, is frozencapybara/smacaski's (sorry, I don't know which of you coined the slogan) "Kerry is My Hamster" campaign. I think this is a great idea, simply for the marketing value, namely the singing-dancing hamster doll that is sort of like a cross between the Businessman Hamster (the one without the handcuffs) and the Elvis Hamster (the one with the big hair), but sings a rockin' rendition of the Capitol Steps' "Then Along Came Kerry." Actually, come to think of it, a whole slew of presidential campaign hamsters would be a good way to liven up the race. Especially if the Democratish ones broke into a chorus of "Kung Fu Fighting" every time Bush's name came up. Well, maybe not every time...that would get old. But what song would the Bush hamster sing? I mean, obviously, the John Ashcroft hamster would sing "I'll Be Watching You" but it seems a shame to ruin "Another Postcard" with a reference to Bush.

Also, Josh Ashcroft would be very displeased to see the words with which the spell-checker wants to replace his surname: Antiaircraft, Aggrieved, Witchcraft...

From greyshipcalling's Presidential Parody

Presidential Race 2004 as 6th Grade Lunchroom

SCHOOL LUNCHROOM. The DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES are sitting together at a table.

Enter BUSH, RUMSFELD, and CHENEY.

DEAN: Shh! Here he comes!

LIEBERMAN: Let's invite him to sit at our table!

The DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES glare. LIEBERMAN is silent.

KERRY: Anyone want ketchup? I've got a lot of ketchup here.

CLARK: Shut up, Kerry.


Really, the whole thing is just funny, so go here.