Metaquotes

persnicketus, expressing a widely-shared area of confusion regarding pubic grooming:

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Depending on what thermometer you ask it's either 3 or 1 degrees officially, and then you toss in wind chill for an official temperature of "Why the Hell did you get out from under your down comforter, you moron?" - thebratqueen

flambeau says.

"Today I solemnly swear, in honor of Ian McKellen, who is such a cool person, to channel all my violence and aggression into writing a bit of smut."

"What a beautiful day! There's not a cloud to be found, and the sky overhead is the bluest of blues!"

"Don't force your meteorological beliefs on me! What are you, some sort of sky freak?"

- swisscelt in nonfluffypagans

From adjectivegirl
On the hotness of her dentist, through song.

"i don't know two-thirds of you seven-eighths as well as i should only like on a thursday in june, or whilst eating cheese, and i like a proportionate amount with a ratio of 4:1 - when measured against the terminal velocity of a falling man (viz. denethor) from a height of 700m with a weight of 180lbs - of you three-sevenths as well as you deserve."

-- _peapod, in this thread of the lotr_deathmatch.

And then a plotbunny the size of Tokyo appeared from nowhere and sat on my head. Bunny arse smells funny.

-- jenlittlebottom

In this response by en_ki in this entry in kobold's journal ( kobold is the artist of the fantastic web comic Something Positive):

Isn't the "fastest growing religion" Islam? Google says it is.

But wait! Allah is just the moon god, whose symbol is the horns of a crescent moon! Of course! Islam is just Wicca in disguise.

Clearly, we should preemptively drop houses on Wiccans to keep them from flying planes into us.

For those not familiar with what's been happening, currently Something Positive and it's creator Randy are under fire from a bunch of bone heads who are a bad representation of the Wiccan and Pegan community, and are currently accusing Randy of singling out Wiccans for abuse when in fact Randy is an equal opportunity asshole, hating and picking on practically everyone just the same.

Every time two dimwitted fools share thoughts with each other, a fairy dies.

Say it with me:

I believe in education!
I believe in education!
I believe in education!
[clap][clap][clap]

From quantumbitch, in a OMG TOP SECRET PRIVATE!!!! community, with permission.

Highlights of the match? Highlander has no chance in molten hell of winning this one until they do the ultimate fandom wank and ask King Kong Lord of the Rings for teh help. Lord of the Rings, petting their pretty elven arses, decides it means more votes for them and jumps on in full throttle. Harry Potter jumps in for an hour to say fuckyouverymuch but no thanks, yawns, and fucks off back to their Kingly corners to worry over more important things like who's plagiarised who now and OMG did Cassie Clair (<3) really make a new post?!. Fandoms worldwide yawn.

--From bnfmdeathmatch which is just too funny.
ETA: The link works! All hail LJ Edti Edit!

namey: Time to break out the vibrator and get ready for club.

shamroq: (*break* - smoking a Lucky Strike while eating an animal I recently killed)

It started out as a simple post over in officialbizness's journal where the news of a Plush Gollum doll on sale at Amazon.com was announced. The comments went downhill from there. ;)