Metaquotes

There's a Denethor Valentine's card? What, 'I burn for you'? 'Feel the flame of my passion'? 'You may be hot, but I'm hotter'?

--hisgreyeyes

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Why is Britney married?

No, really; why?

Perhaps by showing what a crock marriage is even amongst heterosexuals, when a union can begin and end over a long weekend in Vegas, with very little sanctity or inherent meaning left in these modern times, she's taking a stand for gay rights?

That must be it. Go Britney! Love that social consciousness. As if that same-sex kiss for the Cause wasn't selfless enough.

--oliveoyl

wheeler on LotR Risk: "...board games always make me tense, because in my family, board games = tantrums. Of course, in my family, shoes = tantrums, ceramic mugs = tantrums and tomatoes = tantrums. It's tantrums for breakfast, tantrums for lunch and tantrums for dinner. The only thing that doesn't cause tantrums in my family is gin, which supposedly makes a man mean, but makes a Wheeler mellow, because we start out mean already."
"The death of Aragorn and Legolas while they were humping down in Harad was just an unfortunate diplomatic incident, and Marysia's decision to seize my breweries was an understandable tactical necessity for which we can only blame the nefarious menace of the Elves."

I just had to share this little gem, since I've been giggling over it for the better part of an hour now.


" My body is weird. It's an anti-Wonderland." - brooding_soul, one of the funniest people I know.

from the delightful bigbigtruck from the post here:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/bigbigtruck/212740.html

snuh
Habby dew year! Frieds. Fud. Sduff.

I hab a head code. By braid is jello.

Gudda go worg od the Ushicod prograb boog.

ROTK madinee toborrow.
Also, WHY THE FUG IS ID SEBEDY FIVE DEGREES?! *sniffle* I bead, seriously.

In other news, I was attempting to keep a fly away from some jam in the kitchen by blowing it off course. Unfortunately, since I was eating toast at the time, I accidentally killed it with a ballistic bread crumb.

O_o

Woah. It was so *easy*. This must be what God feels like.

Though I'd imagine his dressing gown is less tea-stained.

-- miscellanny contemplates religion

Quoted in sapphicprincess's journal, originally written by kiakaha :

i know all the things i fear are things i must face, and that by mollifying fear i choose not to grow the hell up. i choose this becuz im not ready to deal with the pain and the humiliation that said fear comes from. but im not fooling myself. its MY decision, not cruel fate. my pain is not special. some people suffer and soldier on anyways. some people risk everything they have to get what they need. we are all of us scared to death of losing, failing, being rejected. but some stay cowering indoors and some go on. thats a personal decision, not karma. and i need to accept responsibility for my decisions..active AND passive.

From edie22, posted with permission:


"I got chocolate from the husband, the SV calendar, the Party Monster book, Pirates DVD, the 10 things I hate about you DVD; and from adellyna an address book with vintage gay porn on it.

No, I'm not kidding. Does she know me or what? An address book and gay porn? What else could I want?"

kattahj musing on how Sweden's TV5 could possibly "cut down" BtVS for the children's showing at 5 pm:

"Yeah, okay, so maybe they wouldn't care about the horrid deaths. Maybe it'd all be about sex. (A strange enough form of censorship.) Even then, it'd be something like this:

Riley and Buffy wake up the spirits of dead children by drinking tea in an orphanage.

Tara and Willow do spells together.

Anya embarrasses Xander with her constant talk about money.

Angel lost his soul in perfect happiness when Buffy explained to him how much she loved him.

Spike got his soul after finding out that Buffy no longer wanted to play chess with him.

There was no slayer called after Kendra."

The inimitable Randy Milholland (kobold), creator of the webcomic with chocolate sprinkles (som_pos), shares some wisdom we could all learn from:

This morning, when I woke up, I realized - there are people who hate me. They don't know me, but the mention of my name fills them with a bubbling rage of venom and bile. They curse and vex me despite having never met me - because I have a comic strip they don't like. They actually are filled with a desire to see me fail and be miserable. They've dedicated moments of their fleeting life to HATING ME


And then I had the best masturbation I've ever had.

In comments, the mighty Paul T. Riddell (sclerotic_rings) raises the stakes:

You know what's better? It's not just the realization that people hate you, but that they'll take mortal offense to some idle comment that you may or may not have made (many of said comments exist only in the tiny minds of the perceived offended parties) and DEDICATE THEIR LIVES to letting everyone in the world know what a horrible, despicable, spiteful person you are. And if they can't find legitimate reasons to hate you, they'll make up lies to justify that hate.

If you thought that previous orgasm was good, chew on this observation a bit. I swear that you'll cum chunks of your liver.

the question at hand is if it will snow or not tonight.
the replies of virtue:
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"Due to the many mpreg fics I have been subjected too with Elrond as the little mother, I object to the notion that the one who is up the duff is automatically more femmy. There's nothing feminine about being a pregnant male. Oh God, did I just say that? This never happened."

oliveoyl in a comment to this thread.

From the very amusing saccharinescars ~

35.(girls)what's something about guys you don't get?
OH let me count the ways! *lol* Not really, anyone is pretty easy to “get” if you just pay attenion and *gasp* talk. I guess specifically concerning men? I don’t understand how you guys walk without crushing your testicles. It just seems to me that they would get in the way.