January 2nd, 2004

digitized worldview

(no subject)

"I have realised why America cannot be part of the Eurovision Song Contest...
You see, in these PC days, you cannot go around have big expensive wars. Instead, we play football, have singing competitions, play cricket, play rugby and anything else along those sorts of lines. This means that you have to create your alliances (As an English person, I am to support the Scottish football team, and loathe the German one). You must vote for your countries year upon year, and then they, in turn, will vote for you. Do you understand? Good. Learn and then you can join in our competitions." - hanacandi

"Last year, I was at a house party. With drunkeness and shouting, flirting, girls with nice trainers, cavorting, mishaps, and escapades ... I woke up under the christmas tree. In less than a fortnight's time, I would be trapped in a long term relationship. Poor innocent fool. I was twenty one.
When I was eighteen, all my mates from school came round my gaffe. I was still drinking then. We ended up on top of the shed shouting swear words as loud as we could. Such was the nature of our cutting wit. There were no girls with nice trainers at this gathering." - meetpaulblack
  • Current Music
    David Bowie - Reality
Book of Mormon - spooky Mormon hell drea

(no subject)

subj: new year's ultimatum:

nobody ever use my name. ever.

i don't care if your mom named you that. i've got my name copyrighted. either pay me fifty bucks every time you use my name, or have your mom rename you.

rrrr. it's hard to be original these days when your name suddenly becomes popular.


- puliqueen

i was going to write 'miraculous how fast i got over you haha'
but then i deleted it. and remebered you werent worth it anyway.
but for your own enjoyment, it was record time.


- linedstalkings

...and everything in valiskeogh's intentionally over the top and tongue-in-cheek rant on how Spic 'n Span is insulting to Hispanics.

I NEVER CLEAN, AND I'M HISPANIC!!!!
Munchies, Uh Huh Yeah Sure Keep Going

(no subject)

My ovaries are ovulating with a vengeance. I think I shall hide in my house until the urge to nuzzle the nearest bit of skin goes away. Far, far away. Because watching Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra's New Year's Day Concert and thinking about cuddly Riccardo Muti looks is just so wrong.

It's just as well that I can't afford to watch ROTK for the second time right now, lest I might end up literally drooling over Miranda Otto.

I hate my hormones.

EDIT: Oh, what the hell. I take back what I said about Riccardo Muti.

-- quixotic_sense
merchgirl
  • divabat

Even the admins can be funny...

as seen on lj_biz from this entry :

bradfitz : It's not LiveJournal policy to talk about money in detail, and let me explain why: once we start talking specific dollar figures, people inevitably start saying things like, "What!? You wasted $nnnn?!? I could've done it or bought it for only half that!"

...

And the funniest: "As you can clearly see from the stats page, LiveJournal has 70,000 paid users. Because all users pay $2.50 per month, that's $2,084,820 that Brad personally makes each year, and wastes on hookers and blow." (yes, we've seriously gotten that!)

mannyvision : What? You wasted $2,084,820 on hookers and blow? I could get you hookers and blow for half that!

bradfitz : Yeah, but hookers without the clap? And how much is the blow cut?

mannyvision : Oh, no, but those aren't important features. You'll just wear a condom and have a few Pabsts!

fo0bar : But in what configuration? Is this a normal condom or a serial condom? Also, are you set up in a RAPE (Redundant Array of Prophylactic Enhancers) configuration?

bradfitz : Too far, man, too far....

(I think we'd gone too far with "hookers and blow", actually)
best picture ever.

Tell it like it is...

It sucks when all you want to do is live in your hometown and get your own, affordable apartment and its a big difficult ordeal, because everyone thinks your hometown is where they must live because its so exciting. Honestly, its just a place.

My awesome sister quasisonic about our problems with finding an apartment in our hometown, New York City.
ten straddle cam
  • sam42

Heehee

From the journal of brouhaha:
I <3 Philippa Boyens.
But when it comes to Tolkien's resoundingly misogynistic portrait of the film's insatiable spider-monster Shelob, Boyens recalls taking the piss. "She was one of our favorite characters, actually," she says. "Fran and I loved Shelob. She's overweight, she can't get through the tunnel the way she used to. Men flee from her. She's got hairy legs. She really is the focus of this abject male gaze—this hairy creature that lives in the tunnel. The way Gollum says 'tunnel' makes it sound like the rudest thing ever! You know, it's the most terrifying thing for men. We did have a bit of fun with it."
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
and there is death

I can sympathise. And am fond of Freudian jokes.

"02. If my self-assessment of my position on the Kinsey Scale means anything concrete, I am getting gayer by the minute. Seriously. I've gone from a oneortwo to a fiveorsix in, like, 2-3 years. Maybe less. If I live much longer, I shall probably begin to attack anything that looks vaguely male. Including, with all probability, trains that dare to enter tunnels."

- upsilamba
  • Current Music
    Tori Amos - Spark
just breathe

Bwa!

tree_pretty, on the United Kingdom's World Idol entrant:

- Will Young came 5th? What the hell? The only thing missing from his performance was a man wearing white pants playing the bongo drums and a cruise ship full of senior citizens complaining about the veal.
lady tree tree

Yet another RoTK related quote.

LEGOLAS: The sky wears a film of gauze. The night air breathes infamy. Deceit weaves itself around my fingernails.

ARAGORN: What the hell is that? Poetry? I pay you to do two things: shoot stuff, and look pretty. If you have something to tell me, tell me in normal words.

LEGOLAS: Fine. S-A-U-R-O-N is H-E-R-E. Simple enough for you, numbskull?



mollyringwraith in the funniest RoTK parody I have ever read.


And from her Two Towers parody.


ARAGORN finds himself in RIVENDELL with ARWEN lying on top of him.

ARAGORN: Hmm. This must be a dream.

ARWEN: Why do you say that?

ARAGORN: Because you're not even supposed to be IN this book.

ARWEN: Don't be mean. I'll tell Daddy.

ARAGORN: Whatever. Wake me up, would you? Since it's not really you licking my face, I have the awful suspicion it's a horse. Or maybe Gimli.