December 1st, 2003

cain's ballroom

Pirates of the Caribbean with your mother-in-law...gahhhh...

From the ever metaquotable resmiranda in this post, where she is trying to make it through PotC with her prudish mother-in-law:

MiL: I think porn is sort of... detrimental to society, don't you?
Me: Porn makes my pink parts tingle.
MiL: No, but don't you think, you know, that porn undermines a traditional relationship, the one that's just a man and a woman...
Me: Mmm, gay porn is cool, too.
MiL: ...without all those other people, around, filming...
Me: I wonder if I should tell her that I know someone in a foursome relationship...
MiL: Plus, it's detrimental to children. I really resent that we have to tell our children to not talk to strangers!
Me: If we stuck with that tenet throughout our lives, we'd all be a lot happier.
  • Current Mood
    giggly giggly

Random LJ friends are the best

"Here in Georgia, it's illegal to sell alcohol on Sundays.
This morning, I had trouble buying a jar of "Emeril's Vodka Sauce," which I found in the spaghetti sauce section.
"Is there vodka in this?" asked the cashier.
"It's not a drink," I told her.
"Still," she said, checking the ingredients and, I'm sure, imagining me sitting on a bench in the parking lot chugging tomato sauce straight out of the jar. Absolut Tomato?
"They probably cooked it out," I said, when she pointed out that vodka was listed as the next-to-last ingredient (after basil). "And, anyway, I'm not Southern Baptist, so it's okay for me to buy booze today."
That excuse never worked before, but I managed to get away with it today."
- adamselzer
  • Current Mood
    bored bored

Adventures in Baking

"I've just had one of my worst baking disasters ever, right up there with The Great Birthday Cake Debacle of 1997. (The cake was too warm, so the birthday candles all melted and fell over and looked like they'd suffered a drive-by shooting. And that was the second cake.)"

mycrazyhair in a delightful entry here which is worth readign in its entirety