November 24th, 2003

  • myniamh

(no subject)

The drive back today was interesting too. Despite the fact that most of it was through bland farmland, there were still some interesting sights.

Me: (*looking out the window*) "Oh my god! There's something horribly wrong with those sheep!"
My friend: (*looking*) "Those are alpacas."

Well, good. We WERE driving though farm country after all, near towns where a car crash can wipe out half the population. ("Oi Bill! Grandma's cacked it! Get the chalk and change the 'Welcome To' sign to say Population 41.") So naturally I was a little worried when I saw what I thought to be freakishly large sheep with giraffe necks. Something's not right about that genetic line, I thought.

(I don't even want to TELL you how relieved I was when my friend informed me that what I'd thought were hideously mutated inbred sheep were, in fact, emus.)


And I had something amusing to say earlier, but I've forgotten it now. Oh, right! I had YTV on in the background around midnight 'cause I wasn't sure if they were gonna show an ep of Justice League (they sometimes do at that time), but instead, it was Super Friends. And I had never seen that show before. And oh, I laughed and laughed and laughed at the minute or so I saw, because Supes and Wonder Woman and...some dude in green tights and a rusty-reddish muscle shirt were trying to find Batman and Robin, who had disappeared on (I think) Mars, and everybody was wearing a goldfish bowl on his or her head because they were in space, dontcha know (although none of them, not even muscle-shirt guy, had any other protective space-wear on), and when they found Batman he was unconscious and half-submerged in, like, the Martian version of quicksand or something, and he was also wearing a goldfish bowl, and you could only see his head and part of his shoulders, and he looked exactly like he was some kid's action figure that had been stuck into a pile of sand, he was that stiff even while unconscious, and it was hilarious. Oh, and Robin was behind some rocks, getting molested by an alien plant.

I love the world (xkcd)

A Cat's Ten Commandments

"A cat's idea of the ten commandments would be pretty interesting too...

1: I am the almighty.
2: Thou shall pet me whenever I command.
3: I am the almighty. (it bears repeating, cause those human slaves seem to forget it so often...)
4: Thou shall not allow any other gods (other cats) in the house with me, unless I approve and they understanad that they will always be lesser than me. This is my kingdom.
5: I am the almighty. Bring me tuna.
6: I, the almighty do not care how broke you are. Thou shall never ever ever attempt to feed me the cheap, store brand of catfood. For I am a vengefull god and I shall wreak havok on those who attempt to feed me lesser quality food. Vengence can take many forms, from refusing to allow you to worship me, to deciding your bed is my new litterbox.
7: I am the almighty. Bring me red meat.
8: Thou owns nothing. Your bed, your jacket, your chair, they all belong to me. I just let you use them when I'm not, for I am a benevolant God. And when I decide I do want to use them, thou shall move thy fat, lazy, ass out of my way and let me have them.
9: I am the almighty. I want your my cheese.
10: Thou shall stop taking me to the smelly place with slave who sticks sharp things in my skin and jambs other things up my butt. Thou may say it's for my health, but I, the almighty, know the truth; it's a sadistic way of getting thine kicks. I, the almighty shall not tolerate it anymore.
11: I am the almighty. I can't count.

I gotta imagine organized religion would be hard for cats too. Cause no other cats would be your worshipers, they'd all insist on being the worshipee."

From the ever-so-amusing darqstar, in this post.
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I Like You Because Your Lap Is Comfy

(no subject)

My mother's thoughts on Enterprise
Mum: "It's T'pol. I'm sorry, I've known Vulcans for some twenty-odd years now, and seeing one in a pink velvet catsuit with a plunging neckline...just isn't working for me."

-- chandri

Did you ever wonder how many people spit in Rush Limbaugh's food?

-- littledevi

When I came home from work today, both Chrissy and Goten/Visa [the cats] were downright insistant that I pet them. The problem being, they don't like to be within ten feet of each other. So, this was making things a bit difficult, cause I could pet one, and the other would start crying like, "Pet mee! Pet meee! Oh for the love of God, pet MEEEEEE!" Finally, I went to the bathroom, which of course meant that Goten would join me, which he did. So I petted him in the bathroom for a bit, then I went out and petted Chrissy. I think they both counted the number of pets the other got and Chrissy ended up slightly ahead, because she stared at Goten with this Most Smug Look on her face, like, "Yes, we know who Mommy's favorite is, don't we?"

-- darqstar
K: Hey Stupid!, K: The Unholy Duo, Dogmatix, K: Lesbian Again, K: Laughing Out Loud

The age-old question...

But they have to wear underwear, what happens if they get run over by an oliphaunt? How embarrassing!

Clean underwear is essential if you walk into the stronghold of an evil wizard/bad dude. I'm sure their mothers told them as such.

-- ms_maree

Boromir is such a tighty-whitey person. Except that they're grey and made of that sort of jersey material you find in sheets.

Faramir goes commando.

Aragorn... *peeks* *goes blind* *ahem* Aragorn wears Boromir. Erm.

-- lannamichaels
b&w me

(no subject)

And in that instant, I made a solemn vow: if anything had happened to my FMP, I would kill Spackle Man. I would kill him, and revive him with voodoo, and then I'd kill him again. (And then I would go home, because killing people twice between dark voodoo rituals takes a while and it'd be time to go home anyway.)

inapickle in what is a hilarous entry.
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(no subject)

I read The Ring manga, which was scary (at least at 1:00 a.m.) in spite of looking like a Jack Chick comic. Or maybe because it looked like a Jack Chick comic.

Although, sadly, Sama does not beller out a good, solid, "HAW! HAW! HAW!"

--the ever-hilarious annlarimer
Glamour Model

I found this place a while back, and managed to last a week before I had to post something...

We have a chronically clogging drain at work. Apparently the sink fixture is strong enough to use a plunger - and plunge we did. About twenty seconds after I started, particles began coming up out of the drain... within a minute there was an uppouring of black water. Not sewage. Not grey water. Black. Evil. I-Am-Satan's-Upchuck black. I-am-the-rotting-corpse-of-an-Elder-God's-gay-lover black. ...The drain is still clogged.--errant_variable
POTC - Captain Jack - Pirate

(no subject)

In which Neil Gaiman inadvertently describes the 50 page term paper I am trying to write:

Not that the novel has yet made it off the ground. Right now it's taxiing madly backwards and forwards across the airfield, with ground staff comically throwing themselves out of its way as it hurtles dangerously toward fences and buildings. But I have faith in it. They laughed at Orville and Wilbur Wright, after all. They laughed Edison. They laughed at Laurel and Hardy. They laughed at Old English Flavour Spangles ("The old English," she laughed, her sharp teeth glinting in the moonlight, "they taste nothing like this! Nothing!")

-- officialgaiman
  • lin_san


“BOOM” I continued looking around after the noise and noticed that some of the motionless shapes had been startled slightly before they fell into the back of their subconscious. The shape next to me however was so entranced with her dream, whatever it had been; she barely twitched her eyelash, probably just incorporating the blast into a deeper aspect of what she was dreaming. It was Lin, and we all had made sure that she was quite accustomed to the sound of ki blasts and other explosions, whether by accident or choice. There was many a morning where Lin had woke up, her chest ticking, knowing fully well it wasn’t her uninstalled non-existent pace maker she was wearing.