Metaquotes

wrin explains why geeks make the best boyfriends ...

1. They're never too good for you.
2. They lend you books and cool movies you never would have thought to see.
3. They have this whole Klingonian/Knightly honor thing going on.
4. They don't bug you about your appearance.
5. They practically worship the ground you walk on.
6. They're willing to try anything just to make you happy -- and to enjoy it!
7. They're not afraid to do some things that might seem a little odd -- they've been odd all their lives.
8. They know how to fix things.
9. They're generally available, and slutty girls aren't apt to harass them and try to steal them away from you.
10. Other people (who aren't so hung up on social culture) think he's great because he's intelligent and can get into a decent conversation about, oh, say, the intricacies of any number of musical genres, of cinematography, or of the merits of dual-CPU systems and differences between OS's.
11. They have the coolest toys. (Fingerprint scanners? Hello?)

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GypsyJr427 (4:17:09 PM): If a a hobbit falls in the forest and no one is there...
FawkesFeatherOne (4:17:32 PM): do the ents still laugh?

gypsyjr

Scream: disturbing
In The Closet: disturbing
Remember The Time: disturbing
Black Or White: disturbing (ESPECIALLY the extended version)
Leave Me Alone: disturbing
Smooth Criminal: disturbing
The Way You Make Me Feel: disturbing
Bad: disturbing
Thriller: disturbing
Billie Jean: those glowing tiles in the sidewalk were pretty nifty
Beat It: disturbing

-- pootrootbeer

---

littledevi: A beautiful woman is walking down the street. It's at night, she's alone. It starts to rain.

Suddenly, a gang of toughs jumps out in front of her. The gang leader quite literally gets in her face and starts making his moves. No matter where she goes, he's after her, disallowing her escape, even though she's clearly disinterested.

Ladies -- at this point, would you 1) fall in love with your pusuant; or 2) shit yourself and go beserk screaming?

Now if Michael Jackson were the gang leader, would you still be scared shitless?

azcoasterguy: You know that when he grabs his crotch and screams causing the windows of the car to burst out, you would be his for the taking. ;-)

gremlingirl: I would dance at him in a threatening manner. It worked for the Jets and Sharks.

From yahtzee63:

So this is your Earth "coffee" --

As some of you know, I have never, throughout my life, been able to drink coffee. It tasted nasty to me. So, whatever. I had a Diet Coke in the morning, reasoned that this gave me a caffeine boost and went on my way.

Late last week, a coworker pressed a sample of some new flavor on me. (We are debating the current flavor-packet selection with the kind of concentrated, emotional effort usually reserved for presidential campaigns.) It wasn't bad.

Then rivkat offered me some this last weekend, and I milked and sugared it up, and it wasn't bad.

Then I had some on Tuesday. And I liked it. No, I loved it.

And I have been HIGH EVER SINCE.

I can't believe this! This stuff is legal? Every single human being I've talked with for the past ten years has been doped up on this stuff! And I never knew! I can see through time!

And this is just my first cup of the day!

It's visual. You have to see it. First three comments here. And yes, it's worksafe. For now...

"Bathrooms were made by God so people could be happy and urine free."

I love my roommate sometimes. castalidragon

"But the real question is, if two peeps decided to get married, should we call that marriage at all? I think it's cheapening the sacred union that I have with my (non-existent) husband. I mean, if we allow peeps to marry, what next? Gummy bears? Jolly Ranchers? It has to stop somewhere. :-P"

beautyid in response to a funny typo that tviokh found.

Customer: "What am I getting a keyboard error for? The keyboard isn't even plugged in!"

customers_suck, found by guinevere33, here.

In _redpanda_'s post about the TTT:EE, comments as follows:

poetking: *HEADBUTT*
cocoajava: Head. Butt. You realize what an oxymoron this is, right?

"A new species of animal may have been discovered..."

~ mewkite

Am home alone. Therefore, am naked. Go me. - The inexplicably odd bbblakey

I can understand the need to find a common bond with one of your co-workers, but why is it that only women ask other women if they have kids? Why don't men care to ask, or why these women ask men?

I think from now on when people ask me that question I'm gonna respond by saying a different kind of animal I have as a pet.

Do you have kids?
No
I have cats,
I have a bird,
I have fish,
I have a guinea pig,
OR (the one that'll probably make people stay away from me):

I have crabs. Well, I do. They're pets. They live in my aquarium. Red legged land crabs....bigger than hermit or fiddler crabs.

Yep, that'll be my response. "No, I have crabs."

-- twilight_ashes in childfree, here

"....Your icon appears to be about lesbians. Let's be friends! :D" -maxwellsparadox to pickykitten, here.

subject: news from Middle Earth

Did you hear?

In the old forest of Fangorn, they're starting real estate development for lower-income families. That's right, Ent-controlled apartments. -sertrel