Metaquotes

sword_chucks says:
I am visibly refraining from a comment stampede. Sweeping majestically across the livejournal plain, trampling Mufasa and even possibly Simba in their wake, such stampedes can only be the result of an addled mind. Which I currectly possess.

Roommate: I don't get this fascination with watching lesbian women getting it on.
Me: Well, men like it.
Roommate: Yeah, but it doesn't work the other way around.
Me: Yes, it does.
Roommate: You're saying that you get turned on by men making out?
Me: Er. I--just heard of people who do.
Roommate: No, trust me on this.

---roommate and me, because I find her amusing

rohandove and a friend lose their minds at work...

discussing a Bugs Bunny/LoTRs crossover...


Denethor: Sir Loin of Beef, Earl of Cloves, Quarter of Ten

Gandalf: Foghorn Leghorn "What's the big idea chasing my Hobbit. You're an Orc, son."

Aragorn & Arwen: Pepe Le Pu and his little cat: "Ahhhh L'Amore! Ahh The June! aaaaa!! ::kiss kiss:: ::Arwen runs off, Aragorn winks at the camera:: ahh, the lady is playing the hard to get, no? Where are you my pigeon, I am playing the hide and go seeking for you!" ::Arwen ducks behind a tree::

Boromir & Lurtz: "My stars... monsters lead such interesting lives... ::does his hair:: That will never hold... will have to give you a permananant. Now, don't go away, I'll be right back! " Of course, the dynamite is in his hair... ::grins::

Gimli: Yosemite Sam The roughest, toughest, gosh darn tootiness dwarf that ever did roam Middle Earth! ::sounds of guns::

TVI: Gertrude! Go stand in the corner with Immanuel.

Gertrude Stein: But I would rather not meaning not rather but rather not rather stand in the corner meaning not standing rather than standing meaning standing but not standing in the corner rather standing--

*thisveryinstant shoots Gertrude Stein through the head*

TVI: Modernize that, bitch.

TVI (to Kant): You want some, huh? You want some of that?

*Kant flinches and presses his nose to the wall*

TVI (to flist): I'm sorry you had to see that.

-- thisveryinstant, here.

i never noticed before how awkwardly homoerotic the "greased lightning" number is, in the grease movie. straight men parading around with streamers of cellophane thrusting their pelvises at each other is oddly enuff... pretty gross.

i bet its alot hotter onstage tho. with REAL men who know what theyre doing.

- kiakaha

Gym, work out at one?: I work out at home, or walk in the hills. Gyms are there for losing the pounds sterling, not the pounds avoirdupois.

-tansu

yahtzee63 (in answer to the age-old question "What color does a smurf turn when it is choking?"):

At first, before there is any serious distress, the smurf remains blue.

Then, as the need for air becomes more intense, the smurf turns slightly smurfy.

As the heartbeat speeds up and the first stages of hypoxia set in, the smurf becomes even smurfier, then turns a deep shade of smurf.

Finally, in the last stages of choking, with death imminent, the smurf fades to smurf.

I keep reading "smurf" as "smut"... My mind is corrupted beyond redemption.

*pause* At last! Party time! ^_^

-- icediamond

Stupid little plot bunnies with their furry faces covered in woad. It would serve them right if I were to send a little Kronos bunny after them with instructions to chop off their little plot bunny ears and bring them back to me. -- havocthecat

woelfle, on the state of things:

Hello, world.

I know we don't meet that often these days, but let me tell you this:

You are much too cold for my liking.

If I can't see the bullets whizzing by the camera, then something is really wrong. Suck it up CNN, and do your job. No more panzy reporters with their hair all pretty and their fancy makeup. I want a grizzly guy with a beard named "Sarge" who hasn't showered or changed his clothes in 3 weeks, running up and down the streets actually showing me what the hell is going on. Then when he runs into some trouble he throws his camera down and whips out his hand canon and lays down some journalistic law. Sarge also attaches a bayonet to his camera, when the hand-to-hand combat breaks out. Oh man, CNN sucks.

backdoor_bandit, here

"I guess if I learned anything I learned that shit happens. And if it’s yours, you have to pick it up."
-aditi462, here

Because the ideal assassin is one who's about ten times as conspicuous as clowns having sex in the middle of the street while on fire.

By-bensanaz on BadRPersSuck

http://www.livejournal.com/community/bad_rpers_suck/231889.html

Fear not! Before burying me, Faramir placed a bay leaf under each of my arms. My little brother always has the right touch. I should smell like bean-with-bacon soup come midwinter.

Yeah. That should comfort everybody.

-- boromirthereal

There are a lot of things wrong with fanfic. I accept that. But a line must be drawn somewhere for all of us, and I found that line yesterday. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles do NOT get laid. End of discussion. They don't even have LIPS, for gods' sake! They are TURTLES!!! That's like writing 'My Little Pony' stories called Melody Gets Mounted... Okay, I'm done now.

- deadspiders

I've decided that in this upcoming year, an Alexander/Hephaestion in '04 T-shirt is called for. I'm not talking about the pairing, chipmunks; I'm referring to the presidential election. Neither the Democrats nor the Republicans have really got it right, so I'm going to support the Macedonian party of the United States in next year's election: Alexander for president and Hephaestion for VP! The facts that I'm the only member of the party and both of our candidates have been dead for over two thousand years doesn't faze us in the least. Our campaign slogan is "India Won't Stop Us This Time." That may change, as I'm beginning to worry that the American public doesn't like to have to think about things; "Greek Is Chic" might be a better option. It doesn't have to do with anything, but it rhymes, and plebians like that sort of thing.

Of course you're asking, "But Mali, why should we vote for a candidate who will worry less about issues such as education and health care than he will about conquest and bloodshed?" The answer to that is simple: morals and traditional American ideals are unimportant compared to the promise of an attractive president who will show up to press conferences in a short toga.

Naturally, I'm not above backstabbing my own party, so if that T-shirt comes out all right, I'll also be making a Palpatine for president one. After all, the Sith Academy has made it quite clear that A Vote For Palpatine Is A Vote For Order

-rex_dart

*both laugh at sick joke*
Random other person in room: I didn't get it like that...
Her: My mind went there.
Me: So did mine. *pause* See, that's why I hate living in my brain sometimes.
Her: It's lucky it's away so often!

*giggle*

Maybe you had to be there.