November 9th, 2003


(no subject)

I'm arguing in a community with someone who is really a massive case of "can dish it but cannot take it" and singularly incapable of doing anything other than trying to talk his way out of ridiculous assertions.

My first thought is "what a pussy".

Then I got to thinking: why a pussy?

Pussies are astonishingly resilient: can you think of any other part of human anatomy that can go through what a vagina can go through and not be destroyed at the end of the process? Seriously, anything that can stretch to 50 times its own size and be intact has my respect.

Now speaking as the owner of a nutsack, I can tell you that it is the wimpiest part of human anatomy. Hell, if you LOOK at it cross-eyed, it will double over in pain. If there is any part of human anatomy that embodies not being able to handle it, it is the nutsack.

So I am advocating a change in the lingo: from now on, if someone is being an utter wuss, don't call him a pussy. Call him a Giant, Quivering Nutsack.

Thank you.


Two from hisgreyeyes

James Lileks reviews the Matrix. "The director wants us to fear him – but who wouldn’t want to knock back some cold ones with Agent Smith? "Missster Liiilechs, I've missed you. Have a beeeeer."

I have discovered the secret to forcing myself to complete a task to deadline: I drink four glasses of water and then don't let myself go to the toilet until I'm done.

I didn't know I could draw that fast. My hand is, like, smoking.

Current Mood: yay! potty!
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    amused amused
Hello Kitty pumpkin-shalowater

so wrong...but funny

And weirdly reminiscent of how Seth Green speaks...

From my friend encap:

If I ever get the death penalty I want the electric chair.
and then
I would want my last meal to be 3 cups of popcorn kernels.
Then... they would be all "Any last words." and I'd be all "Yes."
Then they'd be all "What is it?"
and I'd be all. "You shoulda brought some butter."
then POW
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    "Somebody Save Me", Remy Zero
ncis - tony/ziva - right there

(no subject)

from callcenter_hell

A customer called me with problems with his cable box. His box wasn't getting any power.

I asked him to try and plug the box into a different electrical outlet.

So as he does this, I hear a beeping sound in the background and I ask what that sound is. He says, "Oh that's just my mothers oxygen machine. I unplugged it so I can plug the cable box into that outlet instead."
oo de lally


And on Keanu Reeves' acting ability...or lack thereof. I've come to the conclusion that it isn't that he can't act, it's just that his style is very formalized. He doesn't become the character, doesn't feel their emotions the way that say, Viggo does. He doesn't think about motivation and all that. He simply does what he's told. "Keanu, pick up that glass and take a sip of water." "Okay." And he does. An actor like Viggo would ask, "What is my motivation for picking up the glass? What does the glass really represent? Why am I taking just a sip and not a gulp?" etc. Keanu is an actor who just works on the surface. He doesn't delve any deeper. And that's okay. It works for that role of Neo, just like it works for Carrie-Anne Moss. You don't have to be a deep actor to play Neo or Trinity. You just have to look hot in black.

--cherryscott, in the comments to this entry (some Matrix Revolutions spoilers)
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