(no subject)

...Dude, you suck.
I mean, we're talking Monica Lewinsky-level suckage here.
Change your name to Vacuum. It would be very fitting, and appropriately descriptive. A vacuum can be a strong suction, like a vacuum cleaner - which would reflect your level of suckage. It also means a space completely devoid of anything -- even air -- which accurately reflects the inside of your skull, apparently.