October 28th, 2003

K: Smile, K: Personal, K: My Friends Rock, Smile!, K: Sophie

(no subject)

Allah be praised! Our infidel enemies are stupider than we thought! Read this news story.

"Experts say an estimated 750,000 U.S. adolescents suffer from depression and 500,000 attempt suicide every year. About 1,700 succeed."

500,000 of them attempt suicide, and only 1,700 succeed???? What the hell are they doing ?

"Well, I tried to kill myself by draping a sock across my shoulder. That didn't work. I'm now going to try to kill myself by putting my foot in a bag of sugar."

Just how difficult is it to commit suicide, I mean, honestly? Every year hundreds of our suicide bombers attempt suicide, and they all succeed. Well, except for my Uncle Yousouff, who misread the instructions and tried to become a suicide bummer, but We Don't Talk About Him.

It's the easiest thing in the world! Strap the explosives to your chest. Walk up to a US Army checkpoint in Baghdad. Touch the wires together. Straight to Allah, no problem.

If the infidel US teenagers really are this stupid, we'll have no problem winning this war.

-- spiritof1976 on al_qaeda *giggle*

If they really knew how to talk to God, they’d be knee deep in poontang and cows.

What's weird about this is that God never told them not to build a tower but then punishes them by scattering them all over the earth and giving them all different languages. It's like when you were 4 and you tried to eat your hamster. Your parents screamed and screamed but it wasn't your fault - they never said, "Don't eat your hamster."
~city_of_dis's fascinating summary of the book of Genesis
K: Beaded, K: Eeep, K: *huff*, Red Panda, K: Desperada

(no subject)

*Rolls eyes* Poor God. You got to figure the man is awful tired of being the big bad boogieman of masturbating teens everywhere.

In truth, I think God doesn't really give a crap if you masturbate or not. Even if it were some type of moral "crime" to masturbate, for pete's sake, who's the victim? Yourself? Should you have taken yourself out to dinner first? Played hard to get with yourself?

It's a form of release and that's all. Humans are sexual creatures. Us and dolphins are the only animals that seem to appreciate sex, sheerly for the joy of sex. We don't go into "heat." We want it all year long. If God was going to make us such sexual beings, he certainly was smart enough to create us with an escape valve, which is where masturbation comes in. Otherwise, we'd be running around raping people and humping trees, bananas, small furry woodland creatures, or any easily accessable hole in the wall.

-- darqstar
J20 talk geeky to me, adorkable Diane
  • kattahj

(no subject)

"I have to quickly note that Lord John Grey is my new 18th century gay boyfriend. Not that I previously had an 18th centruy gay boyfriend - but I wasn't in love with him before he got his own novel."

--love2loveher (And it's only funny if you've read the Outlander books.)
penguin! + valdezicons
  • lethael

word.

mock_the_stupid in this thread.

rwanat: I find it racially offensive that you deem your entire "race" unable to communicate clearly and universally, or immune from the requirement to follow the same rules that everyone else follows. It is racially offensive that you have determined that wallowing in slang and sounding cool takes precedence over making your ideas accessible to everyone and participating in your education, and that you'd use your "race" as an excuse to do it. THAT is racially offensive.
delsea: Wow. Can I have your babies? I mean, as long as someone else takes care of 'em and stuff? ;)