October 27th, 2003

merchgirl
  • divabat

(no subject)

voicemail: hi, this is hmv. the coupling dvd you ordered has arrived. you can come pick it up now.
mcee: AKLSDFJGLKWERTJLBHKSDJRGYJK!! ... wait a minnit.

*calls hmv*

mcee: i just got a call saying i could pick up a dvd i ordered, only the dvd isn't released till tuesday. what gives?
guy: you're right. we have it, but we can't sell it to you still tuesday.
mcee: YOU'RE TOYING WITH MY FRAGILE PSYCHE.
guy: sorreh.
mcee: *sniff*
guy: it's going to be okay...

- mcee
merchgirl
  • divabat

(no subject)

Me: my dad sent it to me
Eric: his virginity?
Eric: hun, that is quite impossible
Eric: OHHH the money
Eric: never mind
Me: yes. his virginity. he sent it to me.
Me: in a baggie.
Eric: paper or plastic?
Me: plastic, duh
Eric: why duh?
Me: who puts virginity in paper?
Me: i mean, seriously...

maybethistime
running, bomb tech

Lawn Bondage

What the fuck is up with this whole lawn idea, anyway? Why, in the name of Ted Nugent, have human beings decided that they want to surround their houses with a plant that, in its natural state, grows to about waist-height, but then insist upon keeping it trimmed to less than three inches high? Is it some sort of weird BDSM relationship with an organism from another kingdom than our own, forcing it to submit to our will?

Have these lawn dominatrices ever heard of bonsai trees to fulfill this need?
--metaphorge, here
  • Current Music
    Old overworked water fountain @ eastdorm
merchgirl
  • divabat

(no subject)

Dad: *rushing around to get things ready for a church thingy*
Councilman: *comes to door; talks to dad for a while; says how important the community is; blah blah blah political lie cakes*
Dad: I have get going...We're doing something at church and --
Councilman: OH, yes, of course! Church and community is very important *babble*
Dad: *interrupts* If you really meant that you'd shut up and let me go.

- imperfect_mix
Red Maple

New addition - a bit disgusting, so beware!

I only have one bathroom in my house, and I live with my fiance. One evening I had to go pretty bad, and he was already in there. When he was done I raced for the bathroom and sat down. Here's the convo that followed:
Me: Whatever happened to spraying?!
Him: Oh, I sprayed all right.

Gross humor, but it made me giggle. In a disgusted sort of way.
  • Current Mood
    crazy crazy
SP Dee

(no subject)

Anyway. I have more meds: antibiotics (once-a-day instead of twice-a-day, in an effort to counteract my flakiness)and more allergy stuff. Pills and nasal spray. Lots of samples, too. I love my health center.

*plays with spray*

Whoops!

Well, looks like my computer won't be getting stuffy any time in the near future.

celli
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
Necropolis bracelets

(no subject)

My essay had three separate introductory paragraphs. The whole thing resembled a "choose your own adventure" story about the suffrage movement. I should have just written "If you like paragraph 1, please turn to page 3. Paragraph 2? page five. But why bother? there's no conclusion. Happy grading!" it would have at least saved me the trouble of putting in any effort, and saved Dr. N a valuable two minutes of reading.

Her comments were written in bright red ink. They were so hurried and sloppy that I couldn't help but feel that she was resisting the urge to write "HA! How dare you and your offensive phallus enter the pristine feminist sanctuary that is my classroom? You will never be able to fully understand the intricate and subtle mysteries of the Vagina Dentata, no matter how hard you try! Phoebe Hearst does disco moves in her grave every time you raise your hand to speak! DIE! DIE! DIE!" all over my paper. Unfortunately I can't prove any of it.

-wearingabeanie
POTC - Captain Jack - Pirate

(no subject)

From my dear friend, the one and only sunspeck:

those of you fortunate enough to have partaken of Palmer candies around easter time (the coin shaped chocolates that come in plain, cripsy, and mixed with peanut butter..::drool::) know exactly what I mean when I say that Palmer peanut butter is one of the best confections in the world in the solar system in the known universe (and possibly even in the unknown universe, it seems likt it is a pretty big place..).

And because they know that one day we'll figure out that it is in fact a highly addictive form of absolute goodness, palmer has been circumventing the right establishing them as drug runners by only offering this stuff at Easter time. Because chocolate is the natural follow up to the resurrection of Christ.

UNTIL NOW.

I got home on Friday afternoon to discover that my aunt, in doing one of the crazy but cool auntie things that she does, has purchased a bag full of candies that have, as their wrappers, different colored eyeballs. Halloween- (or just intensely strange mood-) candy.

And they are made by Palmer.

AND SOME ARE FILLED WITH PALMER PEANUT BUTTER.

AND I HAVE A SUPPLY OF IT.

If any of you would like some of this so called semi-liquid crack to celebrate your All Hallow's Eve, too friggen bad. I'm busy setting up a fort where I will EAT IT ALL.

And then be sick from overdose. Which will clear up by Easter. When this vicious, vicious cycle will begin anew.

I would be an awful drug dealer.

(no subject)

After a day like today, cheesecake is my friend. Then again, cheesecake could be my friend on a day when it skinned my cat, murdered my parents, and ran over my brother with a steamroller, but whatever.

--by apocalypsos
  • Current Mood
    sleepy sleepy