Metaquotes

So we're having an ordinary conversation about crossovers and such things, as one does. And then Hope says "you should write a fic where the new defense against the dark arts teacher is Jack Sparrow!" and I say "now I have to write that, you realise this."

But instead I spam livejournal with the idea, so it may exist forevermore without further input from me.

"See, a good trick is to hide your wand where they won't expect. Your average nasty customer won't, f'rinstance, think of relieving you of hair accoutrements." -- sharpest_rose

I'm totally out of sorts with this whole comment here, comment there "caught in a temporal rift" thingy. I'm a bit worried that I will shortly begin to receive comments to entries that I have not yet posted.
-- disc_sophist

copinggoggles has a fantastic icon of Alexander the Great which reads "Macedonia Wasn't Big Enough For My Fandom". I observed:

copperbadge: Studying madly for a classics midterm. Did you know that your icon was made in or around 100 BC?

casira: Well. That explains LiveJournal's problems lately. They're still running on top of ancient, ancient code...still, it's nice that the works of the original designers are still around....

If that review was supposed to be rapier wit, I think he tripped over his own feet and fell on the sword.

--kailan

Though that *is* kind of amusing, in a sad, fangirl, geek way. I've learned instamindporn. It's when you sit a few feet from someone, stare at them, and imagine them naked doing oh so many things. Or just naked. Though honestly, those pants were doing some of the job for me.

- seperis

From the comments on this fandom_wank post:

"I seriously want to have your babies."
"Where do you live? I can put them on a Greyhound bus first thing in the morning."
--allen and sagralisse (jf usernames)

kymscrazy: Coherant thought ran away with sanity. Can you remind me what OTP stands for? *g*

cocoajava: OTP = "Ominous Threatening Personality"

(err, actual serious answer is One True Pairing. That couple that in your heart is MEANT to be.)

kymscrazy: *blinks* Now why did I keep think "Oh the perversion!"

And really, does Gimli not know how hard it is to keep an elf? The skin care products alone could force a king into debt.

As seen in _redpanda_'s post. (Of course, the post itself is funny in its own right. Go. Read. Now.)

Best out-of-context sentence from Tolkien ever:

"Frodo breathed heavily and leaned against Sam, who put his arms around him."

(From"The Bridge of Khazad-Dum")

wenchopinions

poor_choices's comment:

I dunno, I always thought Fellowship had the best one of those:

"Just why Mr. Frodo was selling his beautiful hole was even more debatable than the price."

*steps in with newbie shirt on* Hello ^^

First time quote, taken from this post by damanique

Mom: "Why are we in an Albert Heijn on a Saturday afternoon? What are we looking for? What's this pocky thing? Are they near the candy? What's this all about?"
Me: "Hush. When the Apocalypse arrives you will be glad to have Pocky nearby."
Mom: *blank stare*

Note: The Albert Heijn is a dutch supermarket.

Also also, there is one HUGE MOTHERFUCKING SPIDER right outside the front door of the house. It is one motherfuckingly huge spider. It is an unnaturally sized spider. It is a devil spider, I swear. It probably signed a pact with the devil just to be supernaturally motherfuckingly large and SCARE THE FUCK OUT OF ME when I came home earlier tonight. SPIDERS THAT LARGE SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. Fuck.

-- alk

circe_tigana wrote:

I'm at my mom's trying to work on my prison journal job, but then I read this sentence:

"unintended collusion with the penal apparatus"

Dude. I've been indelibly corrupted by my LJ friends.

::snickers::

"Giles! What the hell were you and Spike doing?"

"Well. Ah. You see, there was unintended collusion with the penal apparatus ..." Giles stammers.

"We were shagging."

Giles turns bright red. "Spike!"

"Sorry, Rupes," the vampire smirks, all innocence. "You were saying? What about the penal apparatus?"

par_avion comments:

Reminds me of the enormous sign I saw at Meineke (or similar):

LUBE
ENTRANCE

::stares::

::finally realizes what the sign is supposed to mean::