October 8th, 2003

rik

(no subject)

Time: Thanksgiving, 2003

Place: Kennedy Compound, Cape Cod, Massachusetts


"So, er, Mahriah, thahnks for helping hand, er, the lahgest state in the country ovah to the enemy."
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"Fuck you, Uncle Ted."

- kamuela
K: Smile, K: Personal, K: My Friends Rock, Smile!, K: Sophie

(no subject)

Since it is the custom, a comment on marriage protection week for you 'merkins. I have proposed to Gabe. He said yes. :D His father says he is so proud. Sure, we both fancy women for the most part but by GOD we'll make it work until we get bored and go watch a movie or something.

-- crantz
road

Academic Fun! Political Tomfoolery!

This has to be a first - Dr Benway being metaquoted...

First, slight explanation - d_benway has been working for the past month on a paper that he hopes will garner him research grant money. As you can see, he's established a bit of an unusual relationship with "Grant", as the paper has become known.

(Five reasons why) I Hate Grant
1) he's boring

2) he makes great demands on my time

3) he never brings me flowers (even though I'm allergic to them, it's the thought that counts, damn it)

4) he whines a lot, even after demanding the services that I perform upon him

5) he keeps making me do the same things over and over again, and I never seem to be able to follow the rules precisely each time and then have to do those things even more...

6) he keeps reminding me that he will be around for most of the rest of my working life, unless I can find grad students to service him for free


***

And, stemming from GW's "Marriage Protection Week", this gem from the LJ of pollymel

Lynx: But no. It's in reaction to Canada's legalisation of gay marriage.
Mel: Huh? I thought more people getting married would mean that the institution wasn't in need of protection?
Lynx: But you don't understand! Marriage is a great institution founded on a man and a woman and god.
Mel: Oh. Threesomes only, then?
Lynx: *snigger* Yes.
Mel: See, I don't think I could be in that sort of marriage. Kinky bastards.
  • Current Music
    Jump - Crying In Public PLaces
merchgirl
  • divabat

Things One Has Learned From Anime :

Things I have learned from watching anime all weekend:

1) If you're going to pick a fight in a bar, don't do it with the guy with the human skull on his shoulder.

2) If you plan on selling underage boys into sexual slavery in New York, you should ask for more than ten dollars apiece.

3) The more important a character is, the more tragic their backstory.

4) If their backstory is not that tragic but they are still important, their importance will be shown through their having hair that is either very weird, or very big, or both.

5) Just because you blew up the moon doesn't mean you're a bad guy.

6) in times of great stress or unhappiness, it is acceptable to turn into a hamster.

7) Despite the close relationship you share with your best friend, including cutesy nicknames and dedicated loyalty, you will never have sex with each other. This also goes for your worst enemy.

8) The only thing better than a gun is a sword. The only thing better than a sword is a GUNSWORD! A sword that is also a gun, how exciting is that?

9) For every hero/villain set, there is at least one gay crossdresser.

10) Chicks dig scars. For that matter so does your best friend/worst enemy.

11) If a girl is wearing a short skirt (ie above the knee) you will eventually see her panties.

12) Women masturbating with magazines in hotel lobbies may be open to myriad sexual suggestions. (Oh, wait, that's "Things I learned from listening to Prince songs." Never mind.)

13) Yellow vinyl bodysuits look good on everyone.

- thegraybook and friend
K: Beaded, K: Eeep, K: *huff*, Red Panda, K: Desperada

(no subject)

Anyone who's a dog owner knows that one of the games you play with the dog is Keel Over and Die. The human falls on the floor and pretends to die, and it's the dog's job to revive her or him. If the dog gives up, the human wins.

I have never, ever beaten Bonnie at this game.

Her strategy is the following:

1) If Mommy's wearing short sleeves, insert cold, wet beak into Mommy's armpit. Lick if necessary.

2) If Mommy's not wearing shoes, bite her feet.

3) Failing those, wedge beak under Mommy's arm to access face. Insert tongue into Mommy's mouth.

4) If ALL of the above fail, jump on Mommy's back and start digging, hard, until she screams and gets up.

I'd like to think of these as signs that my dog is highly intelligent, rather than, say, a gleeful sadist.

-- littledevi
Tea! Penguin! (doyle on JF), penguin say tea?

*sniffsniffsniff*

Question Six: Is Lex good or bad?

When trying to determine if Lex is good or bad there are certain steps that must be followed.

Step 1 - Take off his outer wrapping

Step 2 - Sniff him

Step 3 - Check his expiration date (generally stamped into the outside of his right thigh)

If he smells funny, and he's past his expiration date, he's bad.

DO NOT under any circumstances, consume a bad Lex. You could wind up in the emergency room.

paperbkryter, Smallville 101: a guide for beginners. Read the whole thing. Now. Do it.
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    amused amused
cain's ballroom

Oh, California, we hardly knew ye...

Posted on sos_usa by the witty kingcadillac in this post:

ELECTION NIGHT SPECIAL

Well, it was an unusual night in the Sunshine state as there were no Sensible Party candidates at all. Here are the final results:

Cruz Bustamove Bustamante (Silly Party) -- 2,354,159

Tom The Other White Meat McClintock (Very Silly Party) 958,274

Peter Miguel Actual Latino Liberal Camejo (Silly Green Party) -- 206,619

Arnold Conan Osterreichische Knocker-grabber Muscle Beach Mussolini Hercules Commando California Uber Alles Pec Implants Is That A Kennedy In Your Pocket Schwarzenegger (Very Very Very Silly Party) --3,475,671
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    amused amused
road

Oops

Edit: Apparently my kendewey post is a locked post - apologies for that. I can't cut and paste either, so I've had to delete the reference... Again, sorry.

And why doesn't LJ have "apologetic" or "sorry" as a mood, huh?
  • Current Music
    Of course I'm bored - I'm at work!
Nomadicwriter's Jed

(no subject)

Oh, and congratulations go out to Satan. Somewhere between the Cubs making the playoffs and the new governor of California, now he can start that professional hockey league he's always wanted.

-from apocalypsos, here.
  • Current Music
    Dead Can Dance - The Ubiquitous Mr Lovegrove
road

Since my last one went kablooey. :P

From moobie, who seems to be as bored at work as I am, judging from the number of posts she's made in the last four hours.

Last night I also bought a candle called "Birthday Surprise". It smells exactly like a fluffy, sugar-laden, frosted-to-the-gills bakery birthday cake. It is a diabetic nightmare candle. Just smelling it is almost enough to make me to into sugar shock.

Mmmmm, waxy goodness... /Homer Simpson drooling.
  • Current Music
    Out Of Time - REM

(no subject)

"an observation: in the mood icon for this set, 'lonely' appears to be janet jackson enjoying the company of her own breasts. i'm not complaining, i just wanted to share that with you all. (jeanne: she's like justin, in a way.)"

-- asseyez (locked post - posted with permission)
the shep! the hair!
  • soleta

(no subject)

"Don't look at me, mate. You're the one who decided to play a blacksmith, and pump all your points into Melee."
"And I'm damn good in a fight!"
"But are you any good at getting *out* of a fight?"
"Yeah, well... at least this way, when I meet a munchkin, I can kill him!"
"You can? That isn't what I recall from our last fight."
"You didn't fight fair!"
"You seem pretty hung up on this 'fighting fair' thing. Did you take it as a Flaw?"
"Look, Jack, just because you're a power gamer doesn't mean I should have to look like a n00b."
"Ah... Will? You *are* a n00b."

sithjawa
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sunday in the sunset leaves

IALVATJ.

Sirea: ONLY HOLY ROMAN EXPLODING NINJA KITTENS CAN STOP THEM!!
Haru: ....NO EXPLODING KITTENS!
Sirea: Well, see, they explode, but they get better.
Haru: Oh, okay then.

--harukami, relating a chat she had with a friend.
  • Current Music
    "Clocks" - Coldplay
ShayCaron is happy, is happy

Scattering Periods

In the comments of this post:

andromeda_25: I have a friend that gets to see all my stuff before I post it and tell me if it sucks, and she'll occasionally tell me that I'm a verbose little critter who enjoys commas and semicolons and hyphens waaay too much -- which I am -- and I'd better hack those huge sentences up into smaller bits --

But I do the same thing to her, heh.

And yes, I do realize that entire paragraph was just two sentences, *lol*

supernifty: *twitches at the lack of punctuation*

You did that just to spite me, did you?! :p

andromeda_25: Yes, I did. Just for you. ^_^

Here you can scatter periods in there, if you like: ...........

supernifty: *tosses periods out like seeds*

I feel soooo Johnny Applepunctuation...
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    amused amused