September 24th, 2003

K: Beaded, K: Eeep, K: *huff*, Red Panda, K: Desperada

(no subject)

annlarimer: Ahab orders the sperm whale's head hung from the side of the ship. Then he orders the head of their next subject, a right whale, hung from the other side of the ship. This is apparently some sort of charm against a ship's being stove in and sunk by an angry whale.

beth666ann: Now there's a charming custom we've for some inexplicable reason done away with. If I could just hang the heads of my last two vehicular homicide victims from the sides of my car, I'm fairly certain that no one else on the road would ever bother me again.

annlarimer: Actually in these parts, it'd be taken for a challenge. Especially if they were wearing football helmets.

beth666ann: Aaaaaaahahahahahaha! I've lived here for two solid years going on a third now, and I *still* didn't think of that. I need remedial Welcome to Nebraska classes.

annlarimer: It helps to think of your car as the sheep in that Mountain Dew commercial.
K: Smile, K: Personal, K: My Friends Rock, Smile!, K: Sophie

(no subject)

Woo hoo, the Al Qaeda community's troll-trap was sprung at last! Their response (in part)...

Yes, we have finally started to attract lots of irony-free dullard rednecks who can't tell the difference between parody and real terrorists! But what they don't know is.........this is a suicide journal! As soon as we have attracted enough of them, we shall detonate the explosives. We shall ascend to paradise where we shall listen to Kylie Minogue and be orally pleasured for all eternity by TaTu and the Vengaboys (but not the male members of the Vengaboys, for that would be ghey and Osama says no boy-burqhas on our cloud), while the shredded intestines of the redneck dullards shall flap around like some meaty flappy things that flap.
Bobinet, Hungarian theatre, La Vie Parisienne, Párizsi élet

Underworld

phoenixchilde, on Underworld:

It also took me a couple of minutes to figure out that Selene was saying "lycan" - as in, an abbreviation of "lycanthrope." During that first opening sequence, I was all, "What? They're fighting a centuries-long war against rock mold? That's...new."
springtime the pony

(no subject)

Okay, this isn't from Livejournal. In fact, it isn't even from a vaguely affiliated site... it's from The Bad Astronomy Bulletin Board, specifically, from a thread with the amusing title If you had never seen a dog....

But it is funny.

During a discussion about the likelihood of aliens appearing humanoid:

Normandy6644: Exactly. I would think that any beings that came here would have the more creativity than that. Plus, they came all the way here, why are they taking people and probing in the same place? I mean, the human rectum can only be so interesting.....
robin: Yes, it's very unlikely aliens would look anything like humans. So the inhabitants of UFOs can't be aliens. They're time travellers from the future. That's what the human race will look like in a few hundred thousand years. They've came back in time because, in their age, humanity has become so infertile it's dying out. That's why they always probe the reproductive system - they're hoping to learn something that will help them get the human race reproducing again.
Normandy6644: I stand by my comment that you can only learn so much from the human rectum. Last time I checked that wasn't for reproduction anyway....
Ripper: Maybe that is why they are becomming extinct.
K: Beaded, K: Eeep, K: *huff*, Red Panda, K: Desperada

"The Little Mermaid" = a childhood memory?! NOW I feel ancient.

When I was a kid, I didn't angst over the fact that I didn't look like Barbie or her friends. They had boobs! I knew very well that it was not uncommon for little girls not to have those, at least not the D-cup variety. I was busy angsting over my legs, actually. Rather, angsting over the fact that I had legs. I wanted to be a mermaid, see. I blame Disney for all of my childhood trauma and current lack of self-esteem. Forget my late development of social skills resulting from an isolated childhood, and the hidden, genetic gluten allergy that created a visible weight problem around grade 3, called to my attention at age 8 by the disdainful criticism of my grandmother and aunt, whose interest and attention I was only worthy of once I had lost the weight in high school. FUCK YOU, DISNEY.

-- jusheureux
Captain Marvel

(no subject)

The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996 Brando version) - The man who did A Streetcar Named Desire, On the Waterfront and Apocalypse Now surely could not have made this film. I only paid a buck to see this in the theater, but I could have used that to light a candle in church or bought a condom for a prostitute. -- catscradle, on movies God is going to ask her to account for one day.
Logic error

Bad fic in a (very) nut(ty) shell.

"I saw this and I couldn't help but think that it has to be the mentality of all those bad ficcers out there.

well, i'm too sexy for lower case. too sexy for lower case. LOWER CASE GONNA LEAVE ME. I'M TOO SEXY FOR VOWELS. TOO SEXY FOR VOWELS. VWLS GNN LV M. 'M T SX FR PNCTTN. T SX FR PNCTTN PCTTN GN LV M M T SX FR LTTRS"

genkigenko in fanficrants
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Wow Neat

(no subject)

This fic does have one line that made me laugh, even if it isn't in character: having saved professor Trelawney from the "little green men" easily tired out anybody. Hee hee... I can just picture aliens kidnapping Professor Trelawny. She would lie there on the examining table prophesying their horrible deaths until they decide 'heck with it, there are other recta we could be probing right now' and throw her back.

-- pottersues