Metaquotes

For Satan in pigtails, I am a surprisingly dull human being.

From jennyo

from hardgirl

"the road to hangovers is paved with good intentions and empty shot glasses."

frodo: so your earring has actually gone inside your ear?
my brain: no, actually, i've been lying this whole time. haha, joke's on you!
me: yes. see? *points helpfully again* the back is sticking out--there--but the front isn't, because it's been swollen over.
frodo: oh wow! oh, that's got to be really unusual! i've never seen that happen! goodness, i don't know what to do!
einstein: i don't know.
frodo: i just don't know.
my brain: so, unless i'm wrong, what you're saying is, you don't know? ohhh. i get it.
me: should i, uh, should we maybe just anasthetize it and pull it out?
einstein: maybe you should go to the emergency room.
my brain: LISTEN, BITCHES, IF I WANTED TO GO TO THE GOD DAMN EMERGENCY ROOM I WOULD GO TO THE ONE THAT IS A BLOCK AWAY FROM MY HOUSE AND NOT HAVE WOKEN UP AT SIX FUCKING O'CLOCK THIS MORNING SO THAT I COULD RIDE IN TO WORK WITH MY MOM, SIT IN HER OFFICE FOR AN HOUR, SIT IN YOUR OFFICE FOR TWO HOURS, AND THEN FIND OUT THAT I HAVE TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

-dorkorific

"See Elizabeth. See Elizabeth's bosom. Heave, Elizabeth's bosom, heave!"

-- mauralabingi

Before [Waiting to Exhale] "how stella got her groove back" was on and i was all like AMC NO YOU DI'N'T. i heart mid-'90s soul movies so hard.
--canadiansylvia

"We are slowly, slowly adopting a kitten.

It's a very delicate process; you have to get your parents used to the cat being around without their realizing what is actually happening.

'Hey! This cat isn't ours!'"

~macaco