Metaquotes

aka Workplace Broom Closety Conversations

"Does that thing really work? If you hold it over a map, can you find a witch?" *pointing to quartz point hanging on cubicle wall* "Like on Charmed."

"Gosh, I don't know. I've never tried." Because I'm not about to peg myself as a witch by scrying at work thankyouverymuch. (Not only that, but with all the ooky vibes wandering around this place, not without dunking that thing in some water and sea salt for at least a week.)

-- obnoxious cow-orker and tinagilman

From mice

In the News...
A major headline on Yahoo this morning...Britney Spears confirms that she is not a virgin, only shocking the hell out of a man who has been living in a cave for the past fifty years.

In other news, the man who had been living in a cave for the past fifty years who had come out just a few short months ago and had successfully re-intergrated himself back into society, died this morning at his computer after clicking on the popular search engine, "Yahoo".

From moobie

There are reasons Moobie should not listen to Steven Tyler singing things like "I want to wrap you in rubber."

and from the Moobster again:

Dinner with MoobieMom

MoobieMom: Psst! Those people just left...reach over there and grab their bread basket!
Moobie: Woman, have you no social graces?
MoobieMom: No! And I'm proud of it!

And finally, from yshyn (whose user name needs to be asier to spell *grins and ducks*

AND WHY THE HELL CAN'T I FIND ANY NON-SLASH FICS REGARDING CERTAIN MALE CHARACTERS!!

For god's sake, girls, have you not heard of platonic friendships. Eesh.

*closes eyes* *remembers to breathe*

You know, there's a little voice in the back of my head saying, "You signed up for these classes. And you applied for this job. Nobody's forcing you to vote for awards or write fic."

The little voice is right.

*beats it to death anyway*

-- celli

I have now reached a level of boredom that is unmatched. I find myself playing out the tune to "Lean on me" with the navigational buttons at Harrypotter.com.

I'm missing a note but I think my performance has gotten quite good.

o_o;

This is the lowest I have ever been.

-everhidden

From greenowl:

Ack! Screw the umbrellas! Deploy the ponchos and the waterproof galoshes! It's raining porn!

(Describing the difficulties of finding pictures of Japanese actresses on-line without being bombarded by naughty pictures)