Metaquotes

You know, the other day I was thinking about what I'd do if I ever got the chance to meet one of my favorite sexy celebrities. If it was a woman, I'd probably be cool. I'd run into Angelina Jolie or Carrie-Anne Moss and say something intelligent, along the lines of, "Hi, I really like your movies. Can I have your autograph?" Now, if I were to run into say, Orlando Bloom or Hugh Jackman or Johnny Depp or Viggo Mortensen...

Well, it would probably go a little something like this.

Me: MEEP! It's Orli/Hugh/Johnny/Viggo!

Orli/Hugh/Johnny/Viggo: Hi, nice to meet you.

Me: OhmyfuckinggodyouaresohawtandsexyandIwanttohaveyourbabiesandIwanttofuckyouuntilyouforgetyourownname!!!!

Orli/Hugh/Johnny/Viggo: Uhh... thanks?

Me: I'm.. I... Unnngh...

Orli/Hugh/Johnny/Viggo: [to his security] Is she having an orgasm?

Me: [launches self at Orli/Hugh/Johnny/Viggo and humps]

Posted by my friend, eiluned. *grins*

"So many villains want to take over the world, but I never understood the reason why.

Don't they know the hassles that would come with the job? I mean even if you are a evil dictator (Is there such a thing as a good dictator?) you still have to think about how to feed the people, how to keep them complacent. You have to worry about enemies ready to overthrow you, rebellions by the people.

Taking over the world seems like one big hassle to me."

~mrh7448

courtesy of krasota

I just handed boy my gin & tonic. He tasted it.
me: you like it?
boy: *face*
me: too much lime juice?
boy: too much SOMETHING.
me: gin?
boy: it tastes like a lime's ass.

Went to see lesbian porn the Charlie's Angels sequel today. Appropriately enough, I got seated next to a bunch of 14-year-old boys, and, I'm glad to report, we all enjoyed the movie.

- leksa

Feedback is like a small monkey dancing upon a tambourine. For yea though it rattles mightily at times, the overall effect is ver', ver' cute and lovable.

-- nostalgia_lj

Orlando Bloom from the start has annoyed me, mostly for his name alone. Orlando Bloom, it sounds like a Garden show in Florida at some convention center. Come to the fourth annual Orlando Bloom Festival. Tell me that isn't right on the dot... Orlando Bloom. Garden Show in Florida. Orlando Bloom.
- liviajulian