Metaquotes

On her grandmother:

so when she does that touchy thing to other old women, do they find it as annoying as i do? or are they just like, oh, it's the sooper-seekrit old-lady greeting of solidarity! come, sister! i, too, will grope your hand painfully hard and stroke your face in response. hail the brethren!

--dorkorific

From "Ever Seen Christmas in June?" by hackthis:

’Twas the night before Christmas and all through the penthouse, not a creature was stirring, except for an irate, bald billionaire, lying in bed half-dressed, surrounded by comic books, and waiting for his lover to finish saving the world.

The rest of the story, which is equally funny, can be found "Here"