April 25th, 2003

  • tarpo

Can you tell he has some time on his hands?

In response to this from manos99

If this is some pathetic attempt to get me to add you, just keep on whining. Cause Doug does what DOUG wants to do, and if you think some fancy-pants douche-bag can just waltz around and tell me my business, you've got another thing coming. Y'see, I believe in a little thing called responsibility. That's right. Responsibility. Now, when it comes to adding something as uninteresting as this "tarpo" to my interests list, I hold absolutely no responsibility whatsoever. Now, you may be asking yourself, WHO exactly is this fine gentleman responsible to? A very good question my fine feathered friend. You see, as an internet "personality", I hold myself to certain "standards" that "people" of your "sort" likely just wouldn't understand. Oh, you can live your pathetic life, struggling in vain to grasp or comprehend even a teensy bit of what I like to call EXPERIENCE. But, no.. It's beyond your grasp you pale-faced, pock-marked nincompoop. Yes, I do hold a responsibility to someone. And that someone is... my faithful readers. Oh, when the darkness of night surrounds my pretty little head, it is my faithful readers that keep that horrid BOOGEYMAN away. When the bony hand of death seems to be reaching for my feet, it is my wonderful readers who frighten him back to the oily seas of hell. Yes, Robert.. Responsibility is something you just would never be able to understand. If I just out of the blue decided to add your name to my interests list, what do you think the reaction would be? Of course. There would be a public uproar. People would start questioning their devotion to me, perhaps even cease showering me with every assortment of gifts imaginable. Doing such a thing would be a crime against nature, and even worse, a crime against myself and my public. Now, this is not to say that you couldn't possibly ever attain the status of making it onto my list. Not at all! In fact, just like "Bruce Campbell", or "Zombies", you could sufficiently hold my interest for a long enough period of time that I would be pressured, nigh FORCED, to add your name to my hallowed list. The readers would demand it! And, I am their vessel. Their words flow through my nimble hands. So go forth, young Tarpo. EARN your way onto the list! It will take much hard work, and more than a little elbow-grease. But, the respect of all, and most importantly ME, will make all the hard work finally worth it.
Responsibility. It separates us from the animals. Oh, but I seem to be rambling. My readers would never allow that.
Also, you suck.