March 11th, 2003


(no subject)

The news today certainly looks bleak to a casual reader. But perhaps we can appreciate our relative fortune by imagining what headlines we could be seeing instead.

Army Black Hawk helicopter crashes into mountain of preschool children

Vengeful zombies emerge from Ground Zero, eat living

UN peacemaker troops ransack White House, Fort Knox, steal everything

Center for disease control accidentally breaks 400 test tubes on 8th Avenue

George Lucas revealed as director of Return of the King, Matrix III


(no subject)

The point of watching flicks isn't so you can swoon over them. It's so you can bitch about having to see it in the first place, secretly like it, hate yourself for liking it, pretend to hate it, and mock it.
  • celli

(no subject)

[Chicago] Weatherman says will hit high 50s, possibly low 60s by weekend. Firmly convinced weatherman has finally snapped, is living in own little fantasy world -- no longer believe in concept of temperatures above 40, not entirely convinced of anything above 35. Perhaps entire city will enter into delusion, spend weekend putting on T-shirts, snorting dandelions, frolicking. (As opposed to next weekend, when will be snorting green beer, frolicking. Important difference.)