Tarz (tanizard) wrote in metaquotes,
Tarz
tanizard
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kaalee reckons slashers need to have a seekrit code word to tell if their RL friends are slashers, without creating an awkward situation...


There needs to be a seekrit code word that all slashers know.

You know what I'm talking about. We all have those friends that we're convinced are slashers, but have no idea how to *ask* the question. Maybe you've even stumbled over a conversation that left your face burning and your tail between your legs (and, yes, I looked. I know you have a tail.)

you: "So, ummm, are you... have you ever... uh"
potential seeekrit slasher friend: "Huh?"
you: "You know how you were talking about Draco and how hot you're sure he is?"
potential seeekrit slasher friend: "Yeah."
you: "Who do you ship him with?"
potential seeekrit slasher friend: "What? He's not a boat."
you: "I mean, uh... haveyoueverthoughtabouthimandharrygettingtogether?"
potential seeekrit slasher friend: "What did you just say?"
you: "Are you a slasher?"
potential seeekrit slasher friend: *shocked and hurt* "What? You think I *like* the horror movies my boyfriend keeps making me watch?"
you: *melts into your shoe*

Yes, this has happened to me.

Okay, no it hasn't. But only because I'm too chickensh*t to approach the people that I'm convinced are slashers.

Hence the need for a codeword. It's infallible. You say code word. Seeekrit slasher perks up. You both nod knowingly at each other. and then have messykinky sex

But. This code word must be a word that is not too common that you'd just use regularly and would give the wrong information. But, it has to be a word that would not stand out as completely off-the-wall. Like you can't just go around dropping, "anti-disestablishmentarianism" into regular conversation.

Yes, I've thought about this alot. monkey_puppet and I have had long, detailed conversations discussing this and we came up with something a while ago that I've forgotten to share until now. (puppet, forgive me. It must be shared. We can no longer hide our brilliance from the fandom any longer.)

FIDDLESTICKS!

Yes, fiddlesticks. No one uses that word anymore. But, it is easily recognized as a random exclamation - sometimes dismay, sometimes joy.

Here is an example:

potential seeekrit slasher friend: Blah, blah, important nearly slasher things...
you: *drops bottle of water accidentally on purpose* Awww, FIDDLESTICKS!!
potential seeekrit slasher friend: omg, really?? Are you...??? *looks hopeful*
you: Yes!!
potential seeekrit slasher friend: I thought I was the only one!
you: Have no fear! Am also happy slasher!
both: *embrace*

Ahhhh, you are asking. But what if this person is NO slasher friend? Here:

potential seeekrit slasher friend: Blah, blah, important nearly slasher things...
you: *drops bottle of water accidentally on purpose* Awww, FIDDLESTICKS!!
potential seeekrit slasher friend: tee-hee, I haven't heard that expression in a long time.
you: *looks at them meaningfully*
potential seeekrit slasher friend: My grandmother used to say that all the time!
you: *knows they are not a slasher*
you: *avoids awkward situation completely thanks to kaalee and puppet*

Now you see the brilliance, yes?

The original post is here.
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