Them: "You have perfect childbearing hips!" (Or some such asshatted remark.)
Me: "Yeah, they're nice and roomy, aren't they?" *pats backside*
Them: "Shouldn't have any problems having kids."
Me: "Nope. It's amazing what can fit out of there. Or in there, for that matter. Ha ha!"
Them: ". . ." *blinks uncertainly*
Me: "Seriously. They're a blessing. It sure makes fisting a Hell of a lot easier since I 'blossomed.' Hee hee."
Them: "I think I hear my mother calling me."
Me: "No, that's just the echo from my GIANT CUNT! Bye now. Have a nice day."
They've never stayed for that last retort, though. The remark about fisting usually shuts them right up.