Things That Squeak (macabresinclair) wrote in metaquotes,
Things That Squeak

First time posting here, so I hope I did this right...

closet_geek talks about her first Job Interview at a movie store:

I smiled, I charmed, I ruled. I waxed poetic about Kubrick, Cassevetes, Coppola. I touched on Tarantino and said Michael Moore was a fat idiot. I lamented that animated movies never get their due…I name dropped until my ass ached from all the bull I was shitting. I told a moving story about my grade-eight friend who got caught shoplifting, and how till this day I won’t so much as take an extra flier — added a good bit how I’d squeal like a pig if I ever saw someone else steal. I talked about how my worst quality was that "I just work too darn hard", (cue the batted eyelashes) and that I'm a perfectionist to the nth degree. I didn’t stop until my nose was good and brown, until the interviewer had a permanent tattoo of my lips on them. I ended the interview by standing and looking her in the eye, telling her earnestly how much I would enjoy working for her store. With a firm handshake and a copy of my references (my mother and my aunt, if you really wanted to know), I was gone and victorious.

It wasn’t until later that I realized my fly was unzipped the entire time.

On the plus side, I was wearing a sparkly pink thong that reads "Must be at least 11 inches for this ride."
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