"I was waiting by the bus stop coming home from taking care of Kris' cats, and someone (I'll save the litany of curses for another time) hit me with a frosted doughnut. Tossed it out of their car (which, as they were doing at least 40, packed quite the punch) and hit me on the hip. Assault by pastry! Can you imagine?
I didn't even see it coming, just the smack against my side (I'd been indulging in house porn - one of those home&land magazines - under the streetlamp) and looked down and saw the thing at my feet. I stood there staring at it for an age, because who the hell tosses pastries out the window? I was prepared for a rock or something, but the copious frosting completely stole any sort of presence of mind necessary to capture the license plate.
The frosting was chocolate, and now I have to wash that jacket."