canon + fandom = flamewars
fandom - canon = flamewars anyway
(three wee dots omg) canon is irrelevant
fic writer's ego > fic writer's talent
your fic's importance < you think it is
slash + fandom = flamewars
het + fandom = flamewars
therefore slash = het
The length of any given flamewar is x where x > the time it takes to piss everyone off but x < infinity.
I. Every flamewar in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless mod powers are applied to it.
II. The relationship between an flamewars's longevity l, its annoyingness a, and the number of fen involved F is F = la.
III. For every sensible point made there is an equal and opposite flamebait.
Badness of fic is calculated thusly:
B = ((WTF + OMG) - LOL) /STFU