Mary (mary_re) wrote in metaquotes,
Mary
mary_re
metaquotes

I didn't see it here yet...I can't believe no-one posted it. It cracked me up...
From sarahtales, right here.

"My parents have respect and awe for technology verging on worship. Worship for the (being aware of sexual politics) shiny silver goddess Gadgetia.
Unfortunately this means that they accept, like all gods, Gadgetia is unfathomable.

ARCANE MESSENGER OF GADGETIA'S TRUTH (otherwise known as The Engineer): Is your modem connected?
PARENTS: Yea, that is the question. Is our modem connected? Is anyone's modem connected in this most imperfect world? What is modem, O jesting Pilate?
ENGINEER: Is your *modem* *connected*?
PARENTS: Let us contemplate this holy question, and ask Gadgetia its meaning. Ommmm...
MAYA: Our modem is in fact connected.
PARENTS: Hear her, hear her! Our child speaks with the tongue of men and angels! Our modem is connected! All praise be to Gadgetia!
ENGINEER: Yeah, well, you just can't have broadband anymore because I say so.
MAYA: ... gnrgleflwhy?!
PARENTS: Unfathomable are the ways of Gadgetia. Praised be her name. Perhaps she requires sacrifice?
MAYA: The other problem is that the computer pretends there is no printer. Like you are pretending there is no broadband. I hate everything so much.
ENGINEER: Yeah. Huh. Your printer is too advanced for your computer and isn't compatible. Why the hell did you buy this printer?
PARENTS: It was shiny. Such things are pleasing to Gadgetia.
MAYA: Can you please fix dial-up?
PARENTS: Look down upon us with favour, O Shiny Goddess! Ommm.... hey Gadgetia Gadgetia, hey macaroni...
ENGINEER: Is that an arcane ritual complete with tribal chant that I hear in the background?
MAYA: ... No. No. Why would you think that?
ENGINEER: No reason. Do you need someone to come to the house and help you?
PARENTS: No, she has it well in hand. Our child is blessed, blessed I tell you, versed in the ways of E-MAYLE, knowledgeable in both the Inter and the Net. Gadgetia shines upon her with especial favour!
MAYA: The computer is in fact ON FIRE.
PARENTS: Well done, child. Gadgetia loves shining things.
MAYA: WILL SOMEONE HELP ME?!
PARENTS: Are you saying that you wish for a different outcome? For the instrument of Gadgetia to be, more or less... not on fire?
MAYA: YES.
PARENTS: Let us meditate upon this."

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