TEN WAYS VAMPIRES DIFFER FROM REPUBLICANS
1. Vampires bite. Repubicans suck.
2. Republicans go to church to pray. Vampires go to prey.
3. Blood lost from a feeding is easier to replace than money lost to taxes.
4. Republicans listen to country music. Vampires listen to music from the Old Country.
5. Republicans wear their old fashioned values publicly. Vampires wear their valuable old-fashioned clothing in public.
6. One is a bloodsucking menace to society; the other just drinks blood.
7. A vampire can only attack you at night; Republicans can attack any time of the day.
8. Republicans leave you gasping in outrage; Vampires leave you moaning in esctasy.
9. Republicans send your children off to die in wars. Vampires take them in to eternal life.
10. A stake through the heart will always kill a vampire.