Jenny Engard (poorheather) wrote in metaquotes,
Jenny Engard

  • Mood:
Cut because it's longish...

"During Whore Month, I averaged about 1.33 random hookups a day. Most of the time, I couldn't even be bothered to learn a person's name. Really, who wants to risk the codependent personal attachment implied in calling the person you're fucking by name?

One name I remember vividly is Ryan Duda. I hadn't planned on learning it, but it was written very neatly on his mailbox. From the moment I read it, I couldn't get "Camptown Races" our of my head.

I rang the doorbell, and was relieved to discover he wasn't one of those weird assholes who sends out fake pics. He was just as nerdy hot as I'd hoped. Blond, alfafed hair, glasses, and Milk and Cheese t-shirt. I wanted to take him right there on the doorstep. Instead, we headed up to his apartment and smoked apple flavored tobacco out of his gigantic Shiva shaped hookah.

After about a half hour of smoking and John Madden football, our clothes were off, and I was admiring his shaved seven inch cock. We were in the midst of one of the better kisses I've been involved in when

Who's got a Shiva shaped bong? Duda, Duda.
Who's got a seven inch schlong? Duda, Duda,

Suddenly I was in The Giggle Loop. He probably grew up having people make fun of his name, I didn't want to be the umpteen millionth guy who thought he was cute by making a Duda joke. Laughing at his name while we kissed would be extremely inappropriate. *snork*

"What?" he asked.

I knew if I spoke, I was going to start giggling. So I returned to kissing him. Soon he was licking his way down my stomach, and

Who's as long as he is thick? Duda. Duda.
Who's about to suck my dick? Duda. Duda.


He looked up at me quizzically. "What?"

"Nothing, I'm *giggle* ticklish."


I couldn't concentrate. Not that one has to concentrate in order to get a blowjob. Still, it's nice to be able to enjoy the sensation of hot nerd tongue without having to think

Who's got plaid sheets on his bed? Duda. Duda.
Who's real good at giving head? Duda. Duda.

*snicker* *snicker*

"Wow." he said. "You must be really ticklish."

"Well, that is a uhhh sensitive area."

He smiled at me. "I didn't know you were so" lewd smirk "sensitive." Neither did I.

Another fifteen minutes passed. Smirking, giggling, and moaning flip flopped as often as sexual positions until I couldn't take it anymore.

"Who smokes apple flavored hash? Duda. Duda.
Who's wearing a come mustache? Oh, Duda's gay.

-insafemode, over here.

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