3. Develop a habit of staying in your room. As much as possible. Also develop a habit of chain smoking. At least if you die at an early age, he can't follow you to the after-life. Unless of course, God decides he STILL hates you. Kill God. He's been a meddling fucker for TOO long.
9. Frolick around the room yelling "Look Dad! I'm gay! I'm gay!" ...
(The entire post is amusing, but those two are the best...)