[He] was lying on the kitchen floor, clutching his blankie, and whimpering. Occasionally he let out a pathetic moan. (He wanted to watch a Baby Einstein video and had been told "no") As I walked past his sprawled form, he reached out a tiny hand and grabbed my Doc, looking up at me and wailing piteously.
I looked down at him and said "Don't try to out-woe-and-despair me kid, I'm a Goth." and walked on past him.