(The following is taken from a friends-only entry, with FoleyArtist's permission granted on the condition that I use a clever pseudonym in place of her real name.)
XerxesTireIronDada: My on button doesn't work. I need a new phone.
Sprint guy: Let me see what model phone you have.
XerxesTireIronDada: (passes phone, which is old and clunky in style)
Sprint guy: (look of recognition) Oh, one of these.
XerxesTireIronDada: Yeah, the on button doesn't work. I think maybe I should suck it up and get a higher-end model.
Sprint guy: Let me try something first.
XerxesTireIronDada: (blink) Okay. . .
Sprint guy: (looks around furtively to make sure no one is paying attention)
XerxesTireIronDada: (suddenly apprehensive)
Sprint guy: (carefully balances phone in what is obviously a specific and practiced manner on edge of counter, pulls back, and then WHACKS back of cell phone against edge of counter in precise motion)
Cell phone: (flies apart and battery comes loose, clattering to the floor)
XerxesTireIronDada: Um. . . .
Sprint guy: (replaces battery and hands back cell phone) This usually works.
XerxesTireIronDada: (presses "on" button)
Cell phone: (comes cheerfully on as if nothing was ever wrong)
I don't know whether to be more happy that I don't need to buy a new phone, or more disturbed that I own a type of cell phone where violence "usually works." O_o;