wal_lace: Because you don't understand True Love!
You see, if you truly, truly love somebody, then you're allowed to sit next to them. You get to wear their jacket. You hang out together. You ignore your friends for them. And then, one day, you kiss!
And then you get pregnant, and die in childbirth, and your True Love is so upset he kills himself.
Sex isn't fun. Sex is that nasty thing you have to go through in order to prove your devotion to your True Love.
Don't you know anything?
uberbitsch: Me and a friend of mine came up with the idea that we really need to get the majority of the cast from LotR and convince them to star in a high grade porn film with us. It may not be a real elf orgy but it's the closest bloody thing I'll get!
sir_hellsing: Can I join you? Please?
littleshebear: Elrond, honey, I love you but please, please, get the snip. Stop producing these vile Mary Sues as the fruit of your loins. Please.
uberbitsch: Or move here! We know how to use birth control!