Okay, call me crazy...
"From our home base you will have easy access to the rivers of molten lava that are flowing from the summit of the Kilauea volcano."
DOES NOT MAKE ME WANT TO STAY AT YOUR BED AND BREAKFAST!
Easy access to RIVERS OF MOLTEN LAVA? Not on the list of amenities that I'm lookin' for. Kay?
Are they marketing themselves to a certain target audience? Like... say, evil overlords or sorcerors seeking to summon demons from hell?
Or maybe bisexual hobbits with a little disposal problem. "Bed, Breakfast, Second Breakfast and Disposal Of Evil".